I nod and take measured steps out of the restaurant so as not to attract any attention, despite wanting to run and scream and yell. I get into my car and put it in drive, heading for the hospital. I press Bennett’s number.
“Hi Sweetheart. How are?—”
I interrupt him. “Ma’s in the hospital.”
“What? No way. She’s been doing well.”
“I knew she was fading, but Kara went to the house when I was out to lunch with Michelle’s boss, who told me not to worry, and she called the ambulance.”
“I’m not sure I got all that, but you’re driving to the hospital now?”
“Yes. It’s right ahead. See you tomorrow.” I disconnect the call as I pull into a parking spot.
In a blind daze, I rush into the hospital. At the reception desk, I ask, “Faith Westfield?” and am directed to a private room. Where Kara sits outside a door.
“Kara?”
She leaps to her feet, arms outstretched. “When I got to the house, Ma’s color was bad. Her nurse said she’d been that way for about thirty minutes. I didn’t wait. I made the decision to come here. The doctor is working on her now. I’m sure she’ll be stabilized soon, and we can go home together.”
I’ve never seen Kara like this before. My normally stoic and distant sister approaches a frantic pitch. I place my hands on her shoulders the way Bennett’s done to calm me down in the past. It works on her too.
I gaze into her matching gray eyes. “Ma will pull through. She’s with the best doctors here, so let’s sit and try to send her good vibes, all right?”
She nods and we sit. We don’t talk, simply co-exist side by side. After a bit, a woman in a white coat exits Ma’s room. Kara and I approach her.
The doctor consults her clipboard. “Ladies, I’m not going to sugarcoat this. Your mother may not last the night. Her numbers are low, her heart rate is erratic, and the cancer has spread. We’re doing everything we can to make her comfortable. I suggest you go in there and say what you need to say. I’m very sorry.”
After she leaves, Kara and I stare at one another. “No.” I shake my head. “We were supposed to have more time with her.”
Kara, now back in control of her emotions, replies, “We had her for several weeks. She was at your wedding and had a great time. She got to see both her daughters married. She met two of her grandkids.” She breaks off, her eyes closing.
“She didn’t meet any through me,” I whisper. Either she didn’t hear me or didn’t acknowledge what I said, but this truth cutsthrough me like a sword. I remember when Bennett forgot to use a condom on our wedding night. This is the true reason I wasn’t upset. I thought I’d have more time with Ma, and would be able to at least tell her I was pregnant. Now this has been robbed from me as well.
“Let’s go in to see her.”
Kara holds up her phone. “You go. I want to call my husband first.”
With a nod, I enter Ma’s hospital room. The first thing that hits me is it’s so sterile in here, something I strive to avoid at the clinics. Instruments beep. With a stilted gait, I walk to her bed. She lies still. Too still.
I grab her hand, which is warm. A good sign. “Hey, Ma,” I begin. “Way to break up a business lunch,” I try to joke.
Her gray eyes, now cloudy, open at my voice. She pulls the oxygen mask from her face. “How’d it go?”
The fact she remembers what we were discussing before my lunch has to be a good sign. Maybe the doctor was wrong? Happens all the time. “It went well. Dr. Marlow promised to have a discussion with Michelle and to make sure his patients come to me in the future.”
“Good.” She whispers. “That’s good.”
Kara slips inside the room. “How are you feeling, Ma?”
“Been better,” she jokes.
Humor has to be a good sign, right? Yes. These doctors don’t know what they’re talking about.
Then she starts to cough. The coughs come one on top of another, and she can’t catch her breath. More doctors enter the room and kick us out to work on her. I stare at my sister. “She cracked a joke. That’s a good sign.”
“It is. But the coughing is not.” She sighs. “My family is coming here tomorrow. At least the kids had a blast with her at your wedding. After you and Bennett left, we enjoyed TLR. UC even took the stage again, with Trent singing lead. We all danced and had a blast. Even Ma danced from her chair.”
I relish this story. Even though I wasn’t there to witness it, it warms my heart to know she enjoyed the party until the very end. “TLR was amazing, right?”