She twists in her seat, dragging one leg under the other. In her quiet, deliberate tone, she says, “The one who needs help and guidance. Who needs the physical therapy I can provide.” She takes a breath. “Not the arrogant one who performs in front of thousands of people. Who discards women and drinks like they’re candy. Or the one who’s hiding his injury from the world.”
“That’s a mouthful.” I take a minute to digest what she piled on me. “There are expectations of me as the lead singer for UC. I have to always be ‘on’—for the cameras, reporters, fans. You’ve seen, firsthand, how the paparazzi can be. I’ve had to build a layer of protection around me, otherwise I’d go insane. I give them what they want, they print whatever stories they see fit. The wheels go round and round.”
“Wow. That’s just,” she tosses her napkin onto the table, “cynical. When do you have time for a private life?”
Private life? I haven’t had one of those since I joined the band. Except. “I got my GED. That was something I did for me.”
She nods. “True enough. How about a more recent example? Do you have any hobbies?”
A smirk crosses my face. “Arcade games. Especially Asteroids Deluxe.”
“Touché. You’ve been playing a lot of that here in Aroostook. When was the last time you played before you got here?”
Her question brings me up short. “Honestly, I can’t remember.”
She goes to fiddle with her ponytail, only to realize I took it out. Her arms return to her sides. “Tell me, when was the last time you went off the grid to do something for yourself? Somethingyouwanted to do, without any expectations or cameras?”
“I went on vacation to Ibiza not long ago.”
“Which is a place for the rich and famous to party.” She twirls a lock of hair, biting her lip. “Darren knew how to turn off the fame, and be a more subdued version of himself. It doesn’t seem to me that you ever shut down your public persona.” She tosses her hair behind her shoulders. “I’m your polar opposite, not your plaything.”
Her words lodge in my heart. “I’ve been more real with you than anyone else in memory.” My only girlfriend, Lissa, pops into my mind. I was an inexperienced teenager back when I was with her. After her, too. No one scaled the wall of infinity she left behind. I didn’t want anyone to try. Until now. “I want to allow you beneath the surface.” I blink. If there’s anything to see.
Her grey eyes get wide. “You’ve said it yourself, Bennett, many times. You don’t do friends. You like your life that way.”
My heart rate speeds up. “Maybe no one’s made me want to dive deeper?”
She shakes her head. “I’m a physical therapist, not a psychoanalyst.”
“I don’t need a shrink. Just someone who challenges me.” I follow her lead and put my napkin on my plate. “You do, Jenna. You don’t care I’m a rock star with legions of fans. You don’t let me get away with shit.Au contraire, you treat me like a normal human being. Hell, any other physical therapist would’ve been kissing my ass and letting me skip workouts. Not you. You didn’t let me get away with anything.”
“For your own good.”
I acknowledge her defense with a hand wave. “You also didn’tdrool over my body, make inappropriate comments about my injury, or try to massage my cock when you were working on the muscle pull.”
Her nose wrinkles. “No self-respecting physical therapist would do any of those things.”
“Believe me, they would. I was lucky you were in the audience when I got hurt. If a groupie got a whiff of my injury, she would’ve blown me to make it better.” I don’t censor myself. Jenna needs to understand my life in order to appreciate how difficult diving deeper with another human being is for me. “I’m under no illusions that another female physical therapist wouldn’t try the same.” I fold the napkin.
“I don’t believe you about the women in my profession. Your attitude shows how jaded you are.”
We’re getting nowhere. “How many boyfriends have you had since Darren?”
She pulls her leg out from under her and sets it down on the floor. “What concern is that of yours?”
I have an unquenchable need to touch this woman. Feel her. Worship her. My hand contacts with her shoulder. “You must feel this thing between us. Hell, when we kissed, it was unlike anything I’ve ever felt.”
“I fail to see what one thing has to do with the other.”
“Because it’s bad enough I have to compete with a dead man. Who else do I have to fend off to reach your heart?”Heart? WTF am I saying? In the past, if it didn’t have to do with pussy, I wasn’t interested. Yet, with Jenna, everything’s turned on its head.
She remains silent, so I press, “Austin?”
My question gets a reaction. “Austin?” She rears back. “No. He’s an employee. Nothing more.”
“Not from my vantage point. But I digress. If not him, then who?”
“The cocky lead singer of Untamed Coaster doesn’t ‘do’ girlfriends. Or care about relationship status.”