Page 104 of Out of the Blue

I don’t doubt that. Still, I cut him off, “She’s not your concern.”

He flinches. “But I want her to be. I want to be involved in every aspect of your life.”

Why does he have to say things like this? And sound so sincere doing it? I bite my lower lip to keep it from trembling. “You lost all rights when you ghosted me.”

“I want them back. I fucked up. I know I did. I was stupid and let my temper run.” He inhales. “I will stay here all night and grovel for your forgiveness, if that’s what it takes. I love you, Cordy.”

It’s his use of my nickname that spurs me to jump at him, my fists pounding on his hard chest. “Stop it! I don’t want your pity or your regret or whatever this is. Hasn’t anyone else been able to get your rocks off like I did? Is that what this is all about?”

He doesn’t move an inch to protect himself from my wailing fists. He stands there and absorbs all my pain and anger and heartbreak. “I belong with you. Keep hitting me. Get it all out.”

Why does he have to say such things to me? “I hate you!” I continue to wail against his chest, only now, tears prick the back of my eyeballs. No! I’ve let out all my tears for this man. He doesn’t deserve any more.

“You’re it for me. Only you. I. Love. You.”

Then he says shit like that. “No! You don’t love me. You wouldn’t have left me hanging like you did after our fight if you truly loved me.” I force my fists to keep hitting him, but they slow down. “You can’t love me.” No matter how hard I try, tears overflow.

My hits turn into sobs.

His arms go around me. “You’re so wrong. I love you with every molecule of my being. My life has been dark without you. I do the exercises you taught me not only before a gig, but all the time. Because I want to feel closer to you. I refuse to check out our social media because you’re not in charge of it anymore.”

My fingers land in his dreadlocks and I yank. He winces but doesn’t try to stop me. I plead, “Why are you doing this to me, after how you abandoned me?”

He kisses the top of my head. “I’m here begging you to forgive me for being a total, absolute asshole. You might haveconfirmedBrax is my father to a group of our roadies, but you had spent the previous forty-eight hours with me as I got the transplant. Hector was already sniffing around. Things were moving so fast back then, I don’t blame you. I probably would’ve said the same thing. You didn’t lie to me. You considered it a non-issue. And I understand. I get it.”

Against my better judgment, I stay in his embrace. Can he mean what he said? I sniff. “You do?”

“Yes, Cordy, I do. I turned into a freak who refused to see you didn’t lie to me. You didn’t. I was blinded by what Mom did to me. And my ex. I am so very sorry. Immediately after I found out what Mom had held back from me, you crashed into my life.” His hand strokes my hair. “I’ve never been the same. I’m not going anywhere ever again without you at my side. I belong to you.”

I absorb all he’s said. Is this really happening? Pulling back, I take in the man holding me. A warmth starts in my toes and spreads upward. My pain can be over, if I believe him. But I’m not sure it’s even possible. “How can I trust you ever again?”

He wipes away some of my tears. “If you let me back in, I promise to prove my love to you every single day.” We stare at each other, neither willing to disturb the tenuous truce.

Trent’s full lips tick up. “Did you block me?”

His question pierces my brain fog. Did he text or call me? A hiccup escapes. I blocked him so I wouldn’t be tempted to reach out to him, never thinking he would try to contact me. I remove myself from him and a frown mars his face. I cross the foyer and stand in my apartment’s open doorway. Trent’s shoulders droop and he stares at the cement.

I clear my throat. His eyes pop up and our gazes meet. The moment expands in its silence. Finally, it’s his expressive hazel irises that are my undoing. I motion for him to follow me into my apartment.

While he enters my space, I retrieve my phone, which Tenor’s now using as a pillow. He grumbles when I pull it out from under him, then rolls over and falls back asleep. I raise my cell. “I did.”

“Kinda guessed, after the millionth time you didn’t respond.”

I press the screen and unblock him. My phone blows up with his texts and voicemails. “Guess you’re not lying.” I press play on the last message and put it on speakerphone.

“Cordy, it’s Trent. I am so very, completely sorry for what I did. I realize now that you didn’t lie to me, and I was a stupid fool. I love you so much. This can’t be the end for us. You make my days brighter, and my nights, well, much more blinding. You’ve supported me through everything, and I want to deserve to be your man again. I want to grow old with you, to hold our kids and grandkids. I want to write you a new song every day. You are my life, and I don’t want to be half a person anymore. You have to let me crawl back to you. On my hands and knees, if you want. Please.”

As his message plays, Trent moves next to me. His words burrow into my soul and lodge into my throat. I can’t help myself. I yell, “I hate you so much!” I drop my phone and my open palms hit his chest, his cheek, his arms.

“I hate you!” I scream as tears flow down my cheeks and my assault on his body wanes.

“I hate you,” I say as his arms close around me and he strokes my back.

“Shhhh, Cordy, get it all out.”

I sob into his arms. “I want to hate you,” I whimper.

His arms move to my shoulders and he pulls me away from his body. He bends down and lifts my chin. “I love you.”

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