Page 74 of Hold Still

Luis drags his eyes away from the drugs. After a long moment, he walks over to a chair and slouches down like he owns the place, while the real object of my command sits at my feet. I smirk. Patting her head, I praise, “Good, Bans.”

Remaining where I stand, I look down on the weasel. “I don’t need you. Go.”

He gives the drugs another hard stare, then stands. Which doesn’t raise his stature much. “You heard Ginger. Platinum wants me here.”

“Need the money?” I snap my fingers. “I guess you do since the bitch dumped your ass.”

“Royalty checks keep me flush.” He pauses. “Your new girlfriend could be her gringa carbon copy, you know. Although, fatter.”

I’m on top of the asshole before he takes his next breath. Grabbing his shirt and twisting, I say, “Keep McKenna out of it. You don’t deserve to hold her purse.” I continue twisting my fist under his chin, cutting off his windpipe. Bans barks at my feet.

He raises his hands in surrender, and I drop mine. Bans keeps guard. “Even you have to admit that she looks a lot like Teresa,” he says between wheezes.

I never consciously compared the two women. And I won’t now. “They’re nothing alike,” I grit out.

Straightening, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out an envelope. “Look, even though Teresa and I broke up, we’re still friends. She wants you to have this.” He extends his hand.

I don’t move.

He drops the envelope onto the desk. “Read it. Or not. I don’t give a fuck. You’re nothing but a lowlife who rode my coattails to success anyway. Without me, you’re nothing. Just look at the position you’re in.”

“Now the true Luis comes out. Was wondering where the shithead was.”

“Yeah, well, while you’re singing the songs I wrote, I’m back in PR working my ass off.” He fluffs his blazer and looks around. “Nice digs, by the way. It wouldn’t hurt you to show me a little respect since you wouldn’t have any of this if it weren’t for me, bro.”

I can’t resist. “Yeah, well, maybe if you didn’t look like a strung-out slob all the time, Platinum would have been willing to sign you. But you’re too busy scrounging around for scraps to give a shit. And it shows. If you’re looking for respect,bro, maybe you should try asking yourself for some.”

He’s on me this time. Or tries to be. Bans latches onto his leg and won’t let go. I laugh at the unlikely sight. He shakes his leg. “Get off!”

Bans hangs on as if he were a chew toy, causing me to laugh even harder.

I cross my arms. “They say dogs are excellent judges of characters. Looks like she has you pegged.” I watch for another few seconds, then call her off and send her out of the office.

Alone with Luis, we stare at each other. For the second time, I take in his skeletal appearance. “Here’s your first test.” I walk over to the pill bottle Ginger left behind and toss it to him. He catches it and rolls the container between his fingers.

Popping the top, Luis peers into the cylinder. “Molly. More your speed. And here you are lecturing me about how to live my life.” He throws it back to me and I put it on the desk.

We remain at a standstill.

Luis sighs. “We’re not going to write any songs, are we?”

“No.”

His body turns in onto itself. “Fine. I’ll see myself out.”

“Hell no. I’m tossing you out.” I escort/drag him out of the office and through the front door. Slamming it shut, I rest against it. Bans races up to me and I bend down to thank her for protecting me. In return, she licks my cheek off.

After washing my face, I go out to the patio with her and throw the ball, working off the nervous energy left behind by my ex-best friend.

My mind drifts to the office where Teresa’s letter awaits me. Why should I read more of her poison? McKenna’s words float through my head, about how I didn’t listen to her when we were married. Sure, I was physically faithful, but did I give her my attention?

My feet lead me into the office, where I take her letter out of its envelope. Her penmanship is unmistakable. I pour myself some whiskey and return to the patio, placing the letter onto the table and taking a sip of the amber liquid.

A breeze picks up and the notebook paper blows, causing me to clamp it down. Fine. I’ll read what she has to say. Then, I’ll burn it and be done.

Ozzy,

I’ve started writing you several letters, but always got stuck. When Luis told me Platinum is sending him to you to write more songs, I knew I had to finish this one. It might be my last chance to communicate with you.

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