Page 9 of Hold Still

McKenna

SUCKING IN Abreath, I say, “Hi, Becky. Is everything alright?” Thoughts of Ozzy pushed to the back of my mind, I pray Mom’s okay.

“I’m so sorry to bother you, but I caught your mother wandering around the neighborhood in her nightgown. I brought her home, but now she won’t quiet down.”

My eyes slam shut. This is my worst nightmare. I only wanted two nights away.Two. Not the full week Rose hoped for. And Mom’s been doing so well lately. Inhaling, I reply, “Did you try some hot tea? Or knitting?”

“Yes, I tried all the usual tricks. She’s very agitated and I’m not sure what I can do to calm her down, short of restraining her.”

“No, please don’t do that. Can I speak with her?”

“I’ll try to give her the phone. Not sure how receptive she’ll be.”

Biting my lip, I stand helplessly thousands of miles away amongst wedding guests while my neighbor and lifelong friend tries to coax Mom to pick up the phone. My vow to Daddy burns in my mind. Lying on the pavement, he whispered, “Promise me you’ll take care of Mom. Never put her into a nursing home.” Mom already was showing signs of forgetfulness at that point, but Daddy had no idea what was coming.

On my knees, trying to staunch the blood flowing from his abdomen, I’d cried, “Of course, Daddy.”Please stay with me.

He reached out and placed his hand on my cheek. Then it dropped away. Six years later, the pain is still sharp. I wrap my arms around my middle, trying to maintain my composure in such a public venue, and do the mental exercises my therapist taught me. My breath already was constricted from squeezing into this dress and now it’s hitched up a few more notches. Thank God it has a scoop neck, or I’d pass out.

Noise from the phone signals Becky’s return to the line. “I’m sorry, McKenna. She won’t take it.”

When my teeth pierce my inner cheek, I run my tongue over the spot. This is one of her worst episodes yet. “That’s okay. Thanks for trying.” Think, McKenna. “Have you tried putting NatGeo on?” That’s my last resort, which soothes her. Usually.

“I haven’t. Wait a sec.” The sound of the television turning on comes through the headset. Then, nothing. I count backwards from ten. Finally, Becky comes back on. “As soon as she saw the lions, she sat down in the chair.”

I exhale, my entire body slumping. “Thank goodness. Listen, I’ll move up my flight home. Please call me if you see her leave the house again. I really appreciate your keeping an eye out for her.”

“Not a problem. I’m so sorry to bother you at the wedding.”

I stifle a sigh. “I’ll text you when my flight lands.”

Disconnecting the call, I pull up the airline’s website to check available redeye flights out. Given the time, though, there’s probably nothing left for tonight. What was I thinking when I booked an early evening flight back to Vegas tomorrow?

“Can we please have everyone to the dancefloor?”

Ignoring the MC, I press search. The next available flight leaves at six-thirty in the morning. Nothing earlier.

“The bride and groom would like everyone on the dancefloor.”

Crap. I’m one of two people in the bridal party, and the other’s a two-year-old. I have to go. Schooling my face into a party-girl expression, I run onto the floor and hip-check Shari, Rose’s partner at RM Publicity. Her boyfriend catches her, and they both laugh. I force myself to join in. Can’t have people asking questions. This is Rose’s day and I won’t let anything take away the attention from her.

We all crowd in, looking for Rose and Cole, but they’re nowhere to be seen. Suddenly a door on a second floor opens, and they step out onto the Juliet balcony. They’ve changed. She’s now in a beautiful teal shift dress, and he’s wearing a white button-down and khakis. They make such a striking couple.

From the balcony, Cole says, “Thank you all for coming to our wedding. I’m whisking my beautiful bride away on our honeymoon—she doesn’t even know where we’re going—but feel free to stay and party for as long as you’d like.”

Rose nudges Cole in the ribs. He bends down and kisses her. Their love is something of fairy tales. A rarity. Before my brain goes down the wish-laden road again—because I know that road is a dead-end for me—Rose steps back and holds up a small bouquet. She catches my eye before turning her back to the crowd. I take a few steps backward, and the crowd fills in the gap.

A drumroll punctuates the bouquet toss, which lands in Emilie’s hands. Tears well behind my eyelids when she and her fiancé share a kiss. After a few more waves, Cole and Rose disappear from the balcony and the band starts to play another set.

Now that the newlyweds are gone, I need to focus on getting back home. I head in the direction of the ladies’ room, but veer to the right and down a hallway. Ducking into what appears to be an old-fashioned library, I take a seat and pull out my phone.

My search confirms that all of the earlier flights are sold out.Of course they are. Under my breath, I mumble, “Daddy, I’ll keep my promise. I’ll get back to Mom and keep her safe at home.” But how? By giving up my nights to stay in with her from now on, that’s how. She’s deteriorating and I need to step up.

Ozzy walks past the half-open door. He came here on a private plane. He told me so himself. I really don’t want to owe him anything, but desperate times and all that. I race out of the room and follow him.

Rounding the corner, I find him in the courtyard by a fountain. A server is near him, and he’s flirting with her. Great.

He’s my only hope of getting home to Mom sooner than tomorrow evening. Swallowing my pride—which, for the record—is not among the things I like to swallow, I put my shoulders back and march in his direction. As I approach, the server giggles at whatever he’s saying.

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