Page 37 of The CEO's Christmas Wife

“We did that a long time ago.”

I rubbed his back and leaned forward to look into his face. I could tell that he was hurting deeply, and I wanted to ease his pain.

“What did she do to you, Kayn?”

He was silent for a long time before he finally spoke.

He slowly turned his head and looked at me. “My mama was my first love. The first woman that I trusted and honored, but it was never good enough. My sorry-ass daddy had gotten her hooked on drugs, and it seemed that’s all she cared about most days. She sold her body for drugs and didn’t care who she brought into our house. She didn’t care what she exposed me to, and anytime I spoke up or jumped in when a man was beating the shit out of her, it was me who she took her anger out on. It was me who she would beat until I couldn’t stand up anymore. It was me who she would withhold food from for two or three days straight by putting a padlock on the refrigerator.

“I loved school, but I would have to miss days from school to cover the abuse. When I would heal, I would be back at school for a little while until she decided to kick my ass again. I matured early for my age, and the neighborhood women would always make comments about how I had the body of a man. That shit used to creep me out, but my mama saw it as a way to gain some leverage. My mama would sell me to the women in our neighborhood just so she could get money for some dope. You wanna know something most people don’t know except for my parents and uncle and aunt?”

“What’s that?”

“I was born Emmanuel CoKaine Robley.”

“What?” I thought I was about to lose my mind upon hearing that. What type of mother named her kid after a damn drug?

“That’s how much she loved the drug.”

“What did the nurses and doctors say?”

“I don’t know, but she had that shit on my birth certificate, so I’m sure she concocted some bullshit story.”

“I’m so sorry, Kayn.”

“It is what it is,” he muttered dismissively.

“I didn’t know your last name was Robley.”

“It’s not anymore. My daddy didn’t give me his name, so I took on her name, which was her maiden name. When I turned eighteen, I went to the courts and changed it to Emmanuel Kayn. A nod to the shit that had attached my parents and fucked them up at the same time.”

“It sounded like you still loved them.”

“I did, but they weren’t shit. I had sex for the first time when I was eleven, and the woman was grown as fuck.”

Tears pricked my eyes as I listened to his story, and my heart shattered in my chest.

“How old was she?”

“Older than you.”

I was twenty-nine, and I could not imagine being with a child.

“Oh my God. Those women should have been put under the jail.”

“Yeah, well, who was gonna tell when I wouldn’t even speak out against my mama? All I wanted was to protect her, hoping she would get better. But she didn’t give a shit about protecting me. You asked me the other day why I’ve got all these tattoos on my body. I started getting tatted up as a way to cover the scars. I was ashamed of the way my body looked. That woman fucked me up mentally and physically, and now y’all want me to see her. Far as I’m concerned, my mama died years ago.”

His jaw flexed several times before he leaned forward. Kayn rested his elbows on his knees and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. I could not imagine the type of pain he endured then or from the memories now. Although that was his mama, and I wasn’t a violent person, I wanted to beat the brakes off that heffa.

Kayn’s shoulders hunched forward, and he went silent on me. I knew he was probably emotional and didn’t want me to seehim that way, but I refused to leave his side. Instead, I wrapped my arms around him and pressed my face against his back. In time, I could feel his shoulders shake, and I knew that he was crying.

I would always have his back, no matter what. It was no wonder Kayn wasn’t receptive to or willing to give love. This man had never known unconditional love, the greatest love of all. So how could he possibly know how to love anyone else?

“I can’t imagine your pain, Kayn. But I promise that I’ll always be here. It’s okay to feel the hurt, and it’s okay to release the pain. I’ve got your back, always. Okay?”

His response was to sit up and wrap me in his arms. He held me tight, and we sat that way for a while. When he finally pulled back and composed himself, his red eyes stared into mine. Kayn cupped the sides of my face and pulled me closer.

His gratitude for my support was shown in the way that he kissed me so lovingly and so thoroughly. The man could kiss his ass off, and I loved the fact that he was a kisser. At that moment, I knew that it would take time for him to open all the way up to me, but I also knew that I would patiently wait for it. A love like his would be a love that would endure. Of that much, I was sure.

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