Page 71 of The Alternate Captain
I head straight upstairs, but instead of going back to my apartment, I stop outside my neighbour’s, rapping on Liam’s and Danny’s apartment door.
What I really want to do is talk to Bettsy–since he’s the only one who knows the full extent of Sarah’s wrath. But right now, I doubt I’d be able to look at him, let alone talk to him. If he knew the way I reacted in front of his sister, he’d have my balls as wellas my legs—I’m sure of it.
But I need to vocalise this, and I hope to God that Liam or Ryan are here.
Danny answers the door and shifts aside to let me in, not even asking why I’m here.
“Alright, Cap?” Danny says, sitting down. “Help yourself to whatever.”
“No, Liam?” I ask, moving into the apartment.
Ryan and Jenna are in the living room clutching video game controllers.
“He’s in bed,” Ryan says, hitting pause and looking up at me. “You okay, bud?”
“I—can I have a word?” I ask. “Out on the balcony.”
It’s futile really, since he’ll only tell Jenna anyway, but whatever. He nods and then shifts to stand up.
I step through the apartment towards the door leading to the seating area outside. It’s not a huge balcony, but it’ll do.
Ryan follows me outside, closing the door behind him and automatically reaches for a pair of sticks leaning up against the wall. He hands me one, Danny’s, and not my usual style, but I accept it. He uses the toe of his stick to flick a Green Biscuit closer, then we stand at opposite sides of the balcony and pass the puck back and forth.
I know what he’s doing. He’s creating a focus point, since he knows that having something to concentrate on is exactly what I need.
“What’s going on, Johnny?” he says after what feels like ten minutes. “You look like you’ve been out. Anywhere nice?”
“I bumped into Sarah,” I say, receiving his pass.
“Shit. I didn’t realise she was still here,” he says.
“Nor did I. I saw on social media that she’s engaged. I guess I figured she’d be back home.”
“I thought you got Vicky to look after that stuff for you?” he says.
“Yeah, I do. But I did a bit of scrolling and I came across it.”
“Did you wipe it clean?” he says, chuckling to himself, but I’m not in the mood for jokes right now. He clears his throat. “Right, sorry. Sarah. Did you talk to her or anything?”
“Not really. But she asked if she could talk to me, and I told her I had nothing to say to her. Then she texted me when I was driving home, and it sort of hit me hard.”
“Didn’t you block her number?”
I look at him, and he shrugs.
“Okay, I guess not.”
I pull my phone out of my pocket and do what I should have done a long time ago.
“So, what’s the problem?” he asks, flicking the biscuit onto the blade of his stick and playing with it in the air a little.
What can I possibly tell him? That I’m fucking terrified that my ex, who said she was moving to another continent, is in fact, still in the same city as me. And that her lingering threat to tell everyone who will listen about my... issues is towering over me—all the way back from when we first broke up.
What if she decides that she’s going to the media? I mean, I know I’m not a big deal or anything really, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m in the public eye and people will talk and laugh and... fuck.
“She knows something about me, Prez. Something that I really don’t want getting out. I mean—it’s nothing crazy or illegal or anything but something—” Shit. How do I phrase this? “It’s something that I don’t want getting out.”
He stops abruptly and looks at me, confusion on his face.
