Page 86 of The Alternate Captain
“I need to go to bed,” I say, standing up. “I’ll take a shower, then call it a night.”
“Do you like him, Kelly?” Tom asks.
“I don’t know.”
“Then why can’t you say that and look at me?”
I pull my head up and look Tom right in the eyes. Which is when the floodgates burst open, and I cry the tears I’ve been trying to hold in for days.
He pulls me into a hug and pats my back, trying to soothe me.
“I don’t understand why you’re both making this so difficult,” he says. “From what you’ve told me, it’s nothing that can’t be fixed. Yeah, he got irritable that his ex-girlfriend showed up, but most people would. And he probably told you he led you on because he was feeling embarrassed about how he acted.”
“It’s more complicated than that,” I say.
“Is it?”
“You’re really not the right person to talk to about this. Since you’re the founding member of the Johnny Koenig fan club.”
Tom pulls away from me so I can witness the contempt on his face.
“Tell me you haven’t thought about him since you saw him last.”
Obviously, I can’t. So, I don’t bother trying.
“And tell me that the date you went on, real or not, didn’t put you into a state of euphoric bliss?”
Again, I can’t deny it. There was something there when it was just us two. And I think Johnny felt the same way.
“What about my brother?” I ask.
“Well, that I can’t help with. You’re on your own there. But we can’t help who we fall in love with, Kel.”
Hearing the ‘L’ word is enough for me to call it a night.
“I’m off to bed,” I say, and to my relief, Tom nods.
“Think about it,” he calls after me as I walk away.
And I do think about it.
I take a shower and sort through some laundry, then I review some coursework, or try to anyway, because all I can do is think about Johnny.
But then my brother’s face pops into my mind. And his warning about how I should be concentrating on my studies jingles like a tune through my head.
I take another look at the roses, delicately crafted into shape. Johnny had made an effort to get them for me, even more so since they’re not just random score sheets. That must mean something, right?
There’s a feeling that I can’t deny. A feeling that I can’t shake. And when I think about it, trying to pin it down to a specific point in time, I can’t. All I know is how I’m feeling now, doesn’t come close to how I felt about Darren. And that’s what’s scaring me. I’m afraid of getting hurt again.
My phone rings just as I put it on charge, Johnny’s contact card flashing up on the screen; my heart pounds.
It’s almost midnight, but I’m wide awake. I’ve been waiting for his call.
“Are you home?” he asks when I answer.
“Yes,” I say, my breath shaking.
“Can I come in?”
