Page 80 of The Alternate Captain
Well, shit.
“She’s beautiful. And she’s really smart and funny. She’s someone completely different from me, but she’s nineteen and my linemate’s sister, which is... fuck.”
“Do you think he’d disapprove?”
“I know he would. He’d have my balls,” I say.
“What makes you think that? Do you know that for sure? Have you tried to date his sister before?” A twinkle in Justine’s eye tells me she’s probably trying to hold back a grin.
“No, but...”
“Remember, Johnny. The majority of scenarios we make up in our head are just that—made up in our head.”
“He mentioned something the other day, that’s all.”
I roll my eyes, but as always, Justine doesn’t react. This reflective listening stuff really pisses me off sometimes.
I’m exhausted by the time I get out of my session, and I sit in my car for an hour, reflecting on the conversation and what I can do next. Because Justine is right. There’s something about Kelly that has me drawn to her. Is it because she’s forbidden fruit? Or is it because she makes me feel genuinely wanted? Like, she was into me before she knew who I was. Hell knows, but I’m invested.
I pull my phone out to check my notifications and I end up going back to my message thread with Kelly.
Kelly
I realise Ffordey was there when Darren said what he said.
I’m so sorry. Hopefully, you told him the full story, and he doesn’t get the wrong idea.
I’ll tell Darren we’ve broken up the next opportunity I get.
Johnny
It’s fine. He won’t say anything to Bettsy, anyway.
Kelly
Okay.
Johnny
Can I talk to you? Please?
Kelly
I’ve got a lot of stuff going on with our composition and schoolwork, so I’ll text you when I’m free. Thanks for respecting the fact that I need space.
But after my conversation with Justine, and my time reflecting, I know I can’t wait around for her to be ready without her knowing how I feel. I need to take control of the situation for once. Even if it makes me appear desperate. But I have no idea what to do. Because I’m fucking terrible with words, and I’ll say thewrong thing.
I decide to give myself a few days to think this through. To come up with a plan. And if I can’t figure anything out, I’ll call Scottsy and ask him how he bagged Lauren.
Tom bursts through thedoor of the music room as I’m putting my cello back in its case. He’s waving his phone at me, a grin spread across his face.
“Have you seen this, Kel? You didn’t tell me your boyfriend is doing a live today. Oh my God. Look at him in his outfit.” Tom drops into a chair, pretending to pass out in the most dramatic Tom-like fashion before righting himself. The grin on his face drops away when he locks eyes with me. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing,” I say, glancing at Darren, who emerges from the storage room.
Even though Johnny is not my actual boyfriend, I’ve been thinking about what Darren said before. What the hell does a twenty-seven-year-old hockey captain, underwear-model-looking Johnny Koenig, want with me? And since Darren is back in earshot, I decide that now is the time to come clean. Or end it, anyway.
“We split up. And no, I don’t want to talk about it.”
