Page 54 of The Alternate Captain

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Johnny

Sure.

Kelly

The times we’ve kissed. How was it for you?

Johnny

I liked it.

Kelly

Right.

Johnny

You should know by now I’m terrible at articulating my feelings. But I really liked it, Kelly.

Kelly

Shit.

Johnny

What?

Kelly

Nothing.

Johnny

Comeon, tell me.

Kelly

It’s fine.

I’m not oblivious to the fact that ‘fine’ means the opposite of fine, considering I grew up with Vicky. And seeing as she sent me a string of one-word answers, there’s something going on.

What’s she not telling me?

I’ve drawn a few conclusions—she likes me, or she dislikes me. If she likes me, she may be worried about her brother’s reaction, or the age gap between us. If she dislikes me, well, she’s probably wanting me to leave her the hell alone.

But I end up re-reading the message thread a few more times. And I land on option one—she likes me. But that’s my wishful thinking, because I really fucking like her.

But the other things: my age, my affiliation to her brother; they are a problem.

How can I make this right? I can’t fix my age, or that she’s related to my linemate... perhaps this is a complete waste of time, and I should forget about her.

But I can’t. The more I try to push her out of my mind, the more I’m thinking about her lips and how beautiful she is.

Because kissing her was like some weird out-of-body experience. I felt exhilarated. I didn’t even know kissing could be like that—it’s literally just touching lips with someone else. But... fuck.

I hear Bettsy laugh from a short distance away, where he’s chatting with a group of girls, and I watch him for a moment, thinking how things would be if the roles were reversed. Would he try it on with Vicky—Liam aside of course, and would I be okay with it? Probably not actually, but that’s because Bettsy is a fuck boy.

But Kelly being eighteen—we’re both adults here...

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