Page 128 of The Alternate Captain
Incapable of having the balls to tell his best friend he’s been fucking his sister. That one really hits me.
“Johnny? Stay in the moment with me.” Kelly’s voice floats right into my ear, and then her hand is on my chest. Warm and calming.
Incapable of getting called up.
Incapable of being the son my dad wanted.
“Remember when we first started chatting, and I called you an old man?” She laughs, probably hoping that I will too. “Remember our first kiss, Johnny? I thought about it for weeks after and I—”
Incapable of being the boyfriend someone wants. And to think—she cheated on me with Charlie. And he had the audacity to accuse me of cheating with her. After all she put me through.
“Johnny?”
And then there’s Kelly.
Comforting. Funny. Beautiful inside and out. And driven. I love that she wants to carve her own way in the world—she doesn’t need anyone else.
“I thought about it, too,” I say, pulling myself back. “And I still think about it now. And... you know I wouldn’t cheat on you, right?”
“I know.”
“I wouldn’t—I...”
“I know, Johnny.”
I rub at the stubble on my face. Thinking. Because even if I was the sort of person to cheat, it wouldn’t be with her. I can probably list a load of things I’d rather do than go near her again. And one of them has to be taking Ffordey’s place. With no pads. Or a cup. I’d rather be pummelled with pucks to the head for sixty minutes than go near her again.
The thought alone has me laughing, well, chuckling to myself.
“Are you okay, Johnny?” she asks.
“What’s funny is Sarah being a problem in my life long after I ended things with her. Honestly, Kelly—she made me feel so weak. Even if she was the last person on the planet, I’d play an entire game naked between the pipes rather than go there with her. And she has the audacity to have Charlie thinking that I would. I mean come on.”
And that’s when my floodgates open. Years of keeping it all locked in. Because I’d told myself it was weak to cry.
I was weak.
“She stopped me from seeing my friends. She used to control all my money, tell me what I could or couldn’t spend it on. She used to tell me what I could wear, how I had to have my hair cut, and when I got offered the captaincy first, she told me I wasn’t allowed to take it because it meant that I’d be spending more time focusing on hockey. You know what? I even found out she was piercing holes in a stack of condoms. I caught her doing it. And when I first told her I was going to leave, she told me she’d kill herself if I did. What’s someone supposed to do with that?”
Kelly stares at me for a moment, then I sigh.
“I’m so sorry that you went through that, Johnny. I can’t imagine how that must have felt for you.”
“Well, sure. But the worst part is, she told me she loved me. Who does that to someone they love? I don’t even believe it exists if I’m being honest.”
I wrinkle my nose. “You don’t believe what exists?”
“Love.”
“Well, I think it does. And you make me feel really loved, Johnny.”
Silence takes over me once again. And Kelly, patient and brilliant, lets me cohere my thoughts.
What can I even say to that?
My entire body swims with emotion, and before I know it, I pull at her arm, tugging her onto me so she’s straddling my hips. And of course, my dick is nestled right between her legs. But I’mlooking right at her. Taking her in. Her pink lips that plump when she kisses me, and those adorable freckles, and her long deep auburn locks that are really fucking smooth and shiny.
And then she sits up straight and pulls off the T-shirt she’s wearing. One of mine. The ‘C’ distorting slightly when she pulls it over her perfect breasts.
