Page 87 of The Tape Job
“Nothing. Forget I said anything.”
“Look, Lee. I’ve apologised and regretted my actions every day since. I’m not sure what else I can do.”
“Fine,” I say, moving back over to the sofa. “You’re right. Let’s just forget about it.”
The show keeps on playing, but she’s not even watching it. She’s looking down at her hands. I feel frustrated, and there’s a question right on the tip of my tongue. I briefly hold on to it before it bursts out of me.
“Did you want to marry me, Vic? Because I play the whole thing over and over in my head. Some nights I can’t even sleep.”
She doesn’t look at me, but she turns her head slightly in my direction. “I wanted nothing more.”
When she says stuff like this, it really makes me wonder why the hell we aren’t married and why she let her opinions of our parents get the better of her.
“So why aren’t we? I mean, I know you’ve told me why, but I can’t get my head around it. We had a good thing going on. Were you happy?”
The question hangs in the air for what feels like a full minute. “Yes. I was happy.” She snaps her laptop shut, and the room goes silent “You should get some sleep, Lee. You’ve got morning skate in like, seven hours.”
“Fine. We’ll say no more about it.”
But knowing that she was happy, and I was happy, makes things a hell of a lot morefrustrating.
Vicky
I brush my teeth in the adjoining bathroom and finish getting ready for bed. By the time I return to the bedroom, Liam has grabbed the extra pillow and blanket from the top of the closet and is lying on the sofa. His legs hang off the arm, his head tilted awkwardly; he looks completely ridiculous. It’s as if someone is trying to cram an action figure into a box half its size.
I wonder if I should offer him the bed. The sofa doesn’t look that bad, and it’s only for one night. But the sigh he lets out gives me motivation to let him simmer. I know he’s pissed, and I know it’s because of me. He won’t want to talk about it anymore, given his last words to me. I switch the light off, switch the fan on, and climb into bed, the cold sheets making me shiver.
“Are you cold?” Liam’s voice floats across the room. “I can hear your teeth chattering, Vic. Do you want this extra blanket?”
My heart practically explodes. He’s always been the same, putting everyone else ahead of himself, and it makes me feel even guiltier.
“No. Thanks, though.” I can hear him shifting on the sofa and the rustling of the blanket. “Are you cold?”
“No.”
“Oh.”
“What?”
I hate the feeling between us. I want us to go back a few hours—back to the harmless flirting. What if…
“If you were feeling cold, you could just come and sleep here. It’s not as if we’ve not shared a bed before.”
“I’m fine,” he says. I know he’s being a gentleman and a stubborn one at that.
“Lee, just get in the damn bed, you don’t even fit on the sofa. You’re going to ache tomorrow otherwise.”
There’s fumbling, and then I feel a whoosh of air as the bed gives under Liam’s weight. It doesn’t take long for the usual antics that come with sharing a bed with Liam to resume. He pulls the duvet towards himself, coaxing it away from me.
“Stop stealing the duvet!” I pull it back.
“You’re joking, right? You’re using it as a cocoon!”
“No, I’m not,” I say, and he rolls over slightly, taking a chunk of duvet with him.
Naturally, this starts a game of tug-of-war; back and forth, back and forth. It’s like I’m sharing a bed with a child.
“Why are you being a brat, Vic?” he says. “Because you invite me to share the bed, but you don’t want to share the bed.”
