Page 83 of The Tape Job
“What’s the point of making it if you’re going to get rid of it? That’s no fun. I say put it online. Make sure you blur your face out.”
“It’s not going online,” I reminded her.
“It’s probably already on there. You can’t trust guys with this sort of stuff. I bet the entire hockey team has seen it too.”
My stomach turned—I felt sick. Would Liam really do that?
“Why are you saying these things?” I asked her, packing up my things as quickly as I could.
I jogged down the steps of the library, almost falling on my ass, narrowly avoiding someone carrying a Styrofoam cup. I threw an apology behind me as I made my way to my car.
I raced over to Liam’s place, completely disregarding the speed limit. I parked illegally outside, putting the worry of a ticket to the back of my mind. I didn’t bother knocking when I arrived since they kept the door unlocked during the day. I burst in to find him lounging on the sofa with a teammate, watching the Boston game from the previous night.
“Hey, baby girl,” he said, snapping his head towards me. “I thought I was seeing you after practice. Do you want to watch the game with us?”
“Lee, can I talk with you, please?”
I practically dragged him up to his room, closing and locking the door behind us.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Shh, this is important!” I hissed at him. “You wouldn’t put that tape online, would you?”
“Well, it’s a CD but … where’s this come from?”
“You wouldn’t, would you? Or show the guys. Oh my God, or Johnny!” Panic had set in.
“You think I’d show your brother a clip of his sister—” I put my hands over his mouth because I couldn’t bear to hear him mutter the words aloud. Knowing my luck, the entire team was standing on the other side of his door listening in like their lives depended on it. Then they’d know what we’d done. What we’d made. What he’d made me do.
“No one else is going to see it, don’t worry.” He paused and looked at me, grinning. “I wouldn’t mind rewatching it to pick up some tips on doing it again. I’ve been thinking aboutit non-stop and—”
“Shh!” I was more than embarrassed. I thought I’d peed myself but we realised later that’s not what it was.
“Look,” he lowered his voice, “It’s for us and us only. If you want me to get rid of it, I will. I don’t want to, but I will. I mean—it was fucking hot, wasn’t it?”
He wasn’t wrong. It was, and I’d felt nothing like it before. We both found being filmed exciting, but I had worried about it falling into the wrong hands.
“But—”
“Relax, Vic. Relax. I’ll get rid of it. Trust me.” He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head.
And I did trust him. I still do. I think he’s the only person I’ve ever really trusted, apart from his mom.
“Okay, fine,” I said, sitting down on his bed.
“Fine, you want me to get rid of it?”
“Yes. I mean, no. I mean, keep it. But—”
Liam sighed, running his hands through his hair. “I’ll do whatever you want. Just let me know.”
For weeks afterward, we played a game of ‘keep or bin’ which involved me asking for him to get rid of it before quickly changing my mind again.
A month later, we were in his room after a game.
“Look, do you want to keep it?” he got the disk out of the designated hiding place and offered it to me. “That way, you can decide what you want to do with it.”
“No. You keep it,” I said.
