Page 71 of The Tape Job
He’s right. I had nothing to be scared of. He’s always been there for me. Through everything—and how did I repay him? Breaking his heart. Twice. Tears start to well in my eyes.
“You’ve seen that shit show my parents passed off as a marriage. I didn’t want us to end up like them. And then your parents—”
“Stop. I get it.” He looks away again, but I see the tears welling in his eyes. “But we’re not our parents.”
“No, but I saw the way your dad was when—”
“Vicky, please stop.”
“I need to get it out, Lee. You need to hear it.” I pause for a moment, and he flicks his gaze to land on me again. “I did want to marry you. I mean, I do. But the way I saw your dad’s heartbreak, I can’t put you through that!”
“That’s ridiculous. Because you’ve already put me through something similar, except I’ve had to look at you every single day. And that’s fucking worse.” We’re silent for a moment, and I know I have no choice but to switch things up—to look at the positives.
“But everything worked out okay, didn’t it? You stayed in Toronto and had your shot and it paid off. You made it.”
He hisses. “What else was I supposed to do? I focused all my energy on last season when you called off our wedding. I had no choice.”
“But you made it!” I say.
He turns to face me this time. “It means nothing. NHL? That was Ryan’s dream, not mine. Yeah, it was great and all that, but it meant fuck all without you. You were everything to me, Vic. Fuck. You are everything to me. But you didn’t trust us to make it.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I love you, Liam.” I step towards him tentatively, and he engulfs me in a hug. I clutch onto his damp skin as if this were the last ever hug in the world. “I’m sorry, Lee. I really am. I’m a coward, and I’ve been struggling for as long as I remember to deal with my emotions. Not that I’m making excuses, because I was a complete—”
“Please, stop talking,” he says, and his grip around me tightens.
“Where do we go from here?” I ask. Then there’s a clattering outside and a rumble of skates hitting the rubber matting.
“You have to leave,” he says, quickly retreating into the showers. All I can do is nod as I spin around and walk away.
Seconds later, the dressing room door springs open and Ffordey, the goalie, wades in, followed by Danny and Hutch.
“Alright, Vic?” Danny says, flopping down at his cubby.
“Yeah, just thought I left my tripod in here,” I lie. “Oh, Parker, before I forget, I need to arrange a signing with you.”
I briefly speak with Ffordey and make a plan while Liam exits the shower room and prepares to get dressed—as if he’s just got out of the shower.
Liam doesn’t look at me, and I make a quick move to leave just as Coach pushes through, not paying me any attention—thank God. He makes a beeline for Liam.
“My office. Now.”
Liam follows him out of the dressing room, just about dressed. I’m left surrounded by half the hockey team as they file in. My presence goes unnoticed by all of them, even though I shouldn’t be here. It’s only when Johnny enters that things turn sour.
“What are you doing in here?” he growls.
“My tri—”
“Were you talking with Liam? Because you need to keep away. You’re fucking his game up. Listen to me. I’ve told him, and now I’m telling you.”
I want to tell him he can’t dictate what I do, but I’m so ready to leave. I stride to the door and exit into the corridor.
Coach Adams has left his door slightly ajar, and I can hear a mumble of voices. I can’t help myself. I approach his door quietly, focusing on listening while doing my best to ignore the loud noise from the dressing room. Even with the door closed I can still hear Bettsy.
“…the way I see it, Preston, they promised me a winger who is a sharp skater and can deliver on face offs. Both are true, yeah, but you’re lacking discipline. Your brother vouched for you, career history aside. He’s put his neck on the line for you after that stunt you pulled last year with your contract. The GM wasn’t impressed and, frankly, nor am I. You’re in and out of the damn box, not even having the opportunity to take face offs, then attacking the captain? What on earth was that about?”
“I can only apologise, Coach. I’d like to promise you it won’t happen again, but right now I can’t. I’m struggling with a personal situation that’s affecting my game. I’m working on it. Johnny and I had a disagreement, and I let my emotions get the better of me. I’ll try harder.”
There’s a pause. I can hear shuffling feet, as if Coach is pacing. Then a drawer opens and closes.
