Page 25 of The Tape Job
“So that’s it?” he raises a brow at me.
I lean in towards him, and he angles himself so I can whisper to him with ease. I doubt anyone will overhear us since everyone else is busy chatting. “That’s it. She couldn’t fucking look at me and say it. I don’t think she even buys it herself,” I growl.
Ryan leans in further as I take a deep breath. “You feeling okay, bud? Are you going to be okay to play?” he says.
I don’t answer him, instead I refocus my attention, letting my heartbreak and confusion turn into anger, which morphs into a ‘fuck it’ attitude. Should I tell Ryan that she kissed me? No. I should feel violated that she’s gone against what I want, but I don’t. I feel wanting. If I let her in again, the chances of her breaking my heart for a third time are high, given her record—and I can’t live through it again. I’m still not over the previous times. I need to distance myself and move on, all the while trying to remain professional.
“Well, she’s made up her mind. Time to move on, properly this time,” I say casually, trying to convince myself. “No friends.” Pulling a protein bar out of my bag, I tear the wrapper off and I take a bite. “Bettsy, when are we off out on the town?”
Ryan gives me a look of concern. “C’mon on, Lee. That’s not the answer.”
“Why?” I snarl.
“You know—”
“Whatever. I can do what I want.”
I shove the rest of the bar into my mouth and chew, but there’s an uneasy feeling in my stomach, and it’s not from my snack. I don’t believe for one minute Vicky wants me to leave her alone, and my doing so will be torture for her.
“We can sort something soon. We’ve got that double-header weekend, so we can have a few after the game in the hotel,” Bettsy says.
“That sounds like a fantastic plan,” I say stiffly, but I know it sounds like the worst idea I’ve ever heard. Drinking the night before a game is never a good idea, but fuck it.
We’re given a five-minute warning, and everyone settles down, ready for Johnny to give his pre-game speech. I don’t listen. I don’t even pretend to look at him. It’s only when he gets Hutch to call out the starters that I swivel my head away from the spot I’ve been staring at.
“Heks, Prez, Lee, Cap, Bettsy,” Hutch says in quick fire.
Everyone cheers and whoops. I pull my sweater back on and ready myself.
“Hey, Lee, can I borrow you?” Johnny asks me quietly before we head out.
I tilt my head to show him I’m listening.
“Are you okay? You look a bit flushed. Is it the knee?”
“My knee’s fine. I’m fine,” I say.
“Right, because we can switch things up, if need be,” he offers.
I appreciate his concern; I really do. But no way is he benching me with the prospect of three measly shifts. Not that it’s Johnny’s decision, but he’s got influence, of course.
Johnny hasn’t always been the bossy defenceman that he is today. I remember back in juniors. We had a practice where Coach had a quick word with him after the session, telling him he was getting switched from centre to defence. Johnny wasn’t happy, but Ryan was adamant that it was a good move. But it took me a while to agree with him. That had been the same practice he’d forgotten his skates, and his dad made him play with a pair from skate hire; no kid wants that embarrassment. Oddly enough, that was the same day that I first spoke with Vicky. Fucking Vicky.
“I’m good, John. Honest.”
Before following Ffordey into the tunnels, we all bump shoulders and head towards the ice. And when Vicky comes into view, it’s me who’s avoiding eye contact with her.
Vicky
What the fuck have I done? What the actual fuck have I done? My whole body is screaming at me to run away, but I can’t even escape anywhere since I absolutely have to be here. I’m shaking as I make my way to my work area, and my knees hardly keep me upright. I’ve set up in a small space next to the penalty box which I’ve convinced management to let me use this season. I've also convinced Jen to support me. Updating socials and taking pictures is easier with her help.
I fall into my chair, then a second later, Jen appears.
“Are you okay, Vic?” She sits next to me.
“I just kissed Liam.”
She gapes at me, then breaks into a smile. I busy myself getting my laptop ready with trembling hands.
