Page 114 of The Tape Job
“That teal one,” I say.
“Again, which one?” she teases.
“The one I gave you on Christmas Eve, when—”
“I’m just teasing. I know which one. I love it. Which is why I don’t wear it out anymore. It looks like I’ve worn it to death. It’s in my closet. I’m surprised you didn’t see it when you were snooping.”
She leans in and kisses me, and my brain turns into a fuzzy mess. We still haven’t had sex, and I think we’re now at the point where it may be awkward if someone tries to initiate it.
“Do you want your present now?” she says, pulling a gift bag out from behind her.
I peek into the bag and pull out a guitar pick. “I couldn’t afford to get you a guitar, though, but I thought I’d see if Danny will let you borrow his. He said he doesn’t use it.”
“Wow! It’s been a while since I’ve played. I doubt I’ll even remember, but I appreciate it. Thanks.”
I stopped playing when Vicky called the wedding off, and it’s something I’ve put into the very back of my mind. I didn’t bring a guitar with me, nor do I really know if I want to play again.
“I just want you to know that I love your playing and your singing voice. And I have no photos of you with your guitar.”
“None at all?”
“No. I was always so enamoured that it never occurred to me to pause and take a photo.”
“You know what? I’ll get a guitar. It may be fun to play again.”
Without Vicky, I sort of lost all joy for music. I thought it would be something that would keep me going, but it wasjust another thing that reminded me of her. Except with music, it was easily pushed aside—unlike hockey.
The day goes by in a blur of laughter and what Jen calls ‘merriment.’ It’s not until eight in the evening when we hear from Johnny; we’re still sitting here in paper crowns. He tells us he spent Christmas with his mom.
“Is Mom there?” Vicky asks Johnny via the screen of the iPad.
“Nah, she got called in. But she said hi.” I know Vicky is disappointed, even if she says she isn’t. “I haven’t seen Dad though. I think he’s in Vancouver.”
Vicky scoffs, “Probably with his new family.”
And then the weirdest thing happens—Johnny giggles. He actually giggles at something, or someone, off screen. “Who’re you with, John?” I ask.
“Look, I’ve got to go,” he says. And in a blink, the call ends and we’re sitting here looking at an empty screen.
“That was weird,” I say.
“That’s probably why he wanted to go home. Knowing Mom would be at work, and Dad would do whatever the hell he’s doing—I bet Johnny is still seeing someone, or he’s got a hooker.”
Ryan scoffs. “Johnny would rather jerk off for the rest of his life than pay for sex.”
“I don’t understand why he’s being so secretive though,” Vicky says.
“Probably the same reason you two are.” Ryan looks between me and Vicky.
“We’re not being secretive,” Vicky says.
“Then what are you being? Are you back together, or …?”
“We don’t have to answer that,” Vicky says.
“And how do you feel about that, Lee?” Ryan asks me.
“I, um, I guess we haven’t decided or put a label on it. Do we need to? I mean—”
