After Christmas, the rest of the season dragged, and the brief contact I had with her was frustrating as hell. She texted me back, but her messages were short, leaving me irritated and ruined my mood for the rest of my time in Toronto.
“Why is this so complicated?” I breathe, stretching in my seat.
“What did I miss?” Jen asks.
“Vicky,” Ryan and I respond.
Jen gives me some bullshit about how excited Vicky is to see me, but Ryan does me a favour, shifting the conversation to my living arrangements. I’ll be sharing with Danny, who Ryan shared with last season before he moved into Jen’s room at Vicky’s place.
“How’re you feeling about living with Danny?” he asks.
“Fine. He seems like a nice guy,” I say.
I only met him briefly at Christmas, but he seems easy going enough to share with. At least I’m not rooming with Johnny because fuck that—he’s a neat freak and hates anyone using his kitchen. Even though he has his moments, he’s still my best bud, aside from my brother.
Jen advises me to keep away from Danny’s computer, which is fine by me considering I don’t want anyone coming near mine. The brief talk of his laptop reminds me of the page I saw open on Jen’s laptop earlier that day.
“We’re viewing a few places when we get back, but there’s one Jen is really keen on,” Ryan says. He’s referring to the house shopping they’ve been obsessing over during their summer in Canada. They’re looking to buy a house close to the rink and everyone knows buying a house means big things in a relationship.
“Christ, you two are getting really serious. Next, you’ll be married,” I say, half-joking.
“About that—”
A loud ‘ding-dong’ from a speaker to our left catches my attention, and my head snaps up to the screen.
“That’s our flight,” Jen says as she gathers her things.
I fix my eyes back on Ryan, waiting for him to carry on. “You were saying?” I prompt.
“We’ve looked into this house buying stuff, and they do things a bit different to us. It sounds like a complete ball-ache if you ask me, but ultimately, things would be easier if Jen and I were married. We’re not sure if that’s what we’re doing yet, but it’s something we need to talk about.”
“Are you kidding?” My face drops into a frown. “You said you never wanted to get married.”
“Yeah, well, things change,” Ryan shrugs.
My face is showing my concern as I look between Ryan and Jen.
“I’m not adding any pressure, Lee, just in case that’s what you were thinking. If I’m honest, I didn’t want to get married either, but we’ve not decided yet,” Jen says.
I’m completely dumbfounded as to what I’m hearing. “So let me get this straight. Neither of you want to get married, so you’re getting married?”
“It’s purely for the legal side of things. I just don’t want Jen to be in a situation where she gets tired of me but feels like she has to stick around because of the house. At least this way, it’s legally half hers. I don’t want to see her in any financial difficulty.”
“Ry, I’ve already said—” Jen starts, but Ryan stops her by holding his hand out in a halt signal.
“And I’ve already said I’d feel better about it. If something happens, I know you’ll be okay.” He leans in and kisses her.
I know where his thinking is going, and it’s something in the back of my mind, too: Mom. You can’t be sure about the amount of time you have.
I distract myself from their moment by mindlessly checking my phone, part of me hoping that Vicky has decided to message me back—she hasn’t. I put my phone in the back pocket of my jeans and pull on my sweater.
Ryan grabs his backpack and cap, flipping it backwards and sinking it onto his head before he leans in close to talk to me. “Besides, I think it’s because I haven’t really loved anyone before. I just don’t want her to think I’m getting sappy or whatever.” We all know she’s got him sappy. There’s no second guessing that, but his attempt at discreet conversation is poor considering Jen is standing right there, pulling her jacket on. She must be pretending she can’t hear since her facial expression stays the same. “But when you know, you know, right?” he says.
I did know. At least, I thought I knew. But all I know now is that marriage is off my agenda. I can’t imagine marrying anyone other than Vicky, and since I’m set on not going back there, it looks like I’m destined to stay single forever. Ryan, on the other hand, looks like he’ll never be single again.
“You’ve really done it, Jen.” I say with a smirk, grabbing my cap. “He’s a goner for you.”
“Anyway, we’ve still not decided,” Ryan says.