Page 47 of The Import Slot
“I know this, but I can’t help myself,” I say, and then I tell him about the date I had with Zane and how I fucked up by talking about Ryan for most of the date. “He actually accused me of being in love with him,” I say, suppressing a laugh.
Travis raises an eyebrow.
“What?” I ask.
“Nothing.”
“No, what?”
“Well, I know love is a strong word, but you’re clearly into this guy. Just think about how you’ll feel when he’s gone and you’re left watching him on TV. He’ll be living his dream and all you’ll have to remember him by is that constant dull ache in your chest. How will you feel then, Jenna?”
“Fuck. That’s harsh,” I say.
“I’m sorry, but sometimes, you need to be cruel to be kind,” he says.
I ponder Travis’ point. There’s nothing like a harsh dose of reality to clear the head, except mine already feels clear. Clearer than it has done in a long time.
“Just consider it all,” Travis says, smiling. “What does Becca think?”
“Well, she’s just in her own little world, but she’s glad to hear I’m making a move.”
I’d spoken to her earlier during the train ride up.
“Just be careful. That’s all I’m saying.”
It’s not all he’s saying, but I get his point.
“I will… anyway, let me ask you a question. Do you and Karina do anal?” I know it’s hardly the most civilised topic for a chat over coffee, but I’ve known Travis a long time and we’re completely unfiltered. I think my question caught him off-guard because he swallows loudly and clears his throat.
“That escalated quickly. Did I hear you correctly?”
“Anal. You and Karina.”
“Um, yeah, we have done. But not a lot. Why?” he says.
“I’m just wondering.”
“Are you considering it, then?”
“No. I mean, yes. Actually, I don’t know,” I say, but I know that I’m keen.
“We don’t do it often because Karina can’t be bothered with the prep. It’s hardly spontaneous.”
“Yeah, I did a bit of Googling earlier. It does sound like a bit of a chore,” I confess. “But I’m also intrigued. Nathan wouldn’t do it, but I’ve always enjoyed watching anal porn.”
Travis looks around to see who’s listening. “Geez, Jen, you talk really loud sometimes.”
I shrug. I tried to keep my voice down.
“Tell me about your new job anyway,” I say, trying to change the subject.
Travis has been working in the city for a FinTech start-up looking to increase their web presence.
“It’s not as exciting as your new job sounds,” he says. I agree, but I pretend to be at least somewhat interested while he tells me all about how things are so far.
“I bet you can breathe easier now. Since you don’t need much of your payout to live on, you can have fun with your savings. Treat yourself to something nice,” he says.
He’s right, of course, but I don’t know when my first pay cheque will be, and I haven’t even started yet. I was saving for a house deposit but that is a big spend.
