Page 104 of The Import Slot
We’ve got a rare mid-week game that has thrown my routine off a bit, but I’ve decided to lose Liam’s jersey number.
“I take it you like it here, then?” he says, placing his tape down.
“Well yeah, and all this extra work Scottsy and I have been putting in, I think I owe my full commitment. It makes sense to have my number. It’s just the complete picture, you know?” We’ve been working hard on and off the ice and have more sessions planned.
“Definitely sounds like you’re getting cosy here,” Johnny smirks. “I can see you staying, you know.” Johnny has been here for four seasons now, and he loves it. If I’m honest, I can’t even say I wouldn’t stay, which is a monumental move from when I first got here.
“Nah, my dad would kill me. But, I love having a more relaxed life,” I say.
Now I’m thinking about that conversation I had with him and how irritable and angry he sounded at the fact that I have a girlfriend. I can’t say I understand it, really. What difference does it make to him?
I get up, sit in Bettsy’s stall, and lean over to Johnny.
“You know what my dad said?” I ask.
Johnny raises a brow, so I give him an overview of our conversation.
“You know what I think? You’re almost thirty.” I scowl at him. I’ve got a few years to go before I’m thirty. “Why the fuck are you still so concerned about what your dad thinks? We aren’t in high school anymore; you’re not relying on him to pay for hockey, your cell phone bill, or whatever. Why does it matter what he thinks?”
Johnny’s right, of course. I’ve asked myself that question before. Why does it matter? Probably the same reason it matters that I came here in place of Liam. I didn’t want to be called selfish more than I already am.
“Remember what I said. This is your gig. Do what you need to do,” Johnny says.
I wonder if my dad regrets choosing my mom over hockey. Not that it was like that. My dad moved up to B.C. and played in a semi-professional league, but then called it a day and got a desk job. I wonder if he thinks he would have had a better chance if he’d stayed in Boston and hadn’t met my mom.
“Do you ever regret choosing hockey over Sarah?” I ask.
“Not sure where the link is, but I don’t.” He pauses for a moment. “Yeah, I was heartbroken but I know she wasn’t the one for me.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, we just weren’t all that compatible. Is Jenna asking you to choose?” he asks, eyes wide.
“No, no, nothing like that. I just think all this stuff with my dad translates. I think he probably feels like he chose my mom over hockey and didn’t get the career he’d always dreamed of; he thinks my fate will be the same. But you know—remember when my mom died? A little part of me died too. Until I met Jen.”
It sounds lame, but I know Johnny will get it.
“So, he’s trying to live his dreams through you?”
“I guess so, but you know what, John? I’ve done seven years. I’ve got plenty more years in me, but there’s more to life than hockey. If I can get the best of both worlds, that’s a good deal.”
“Hey, man.” Bettsy heads over, and I stand up, giving him his spot back.
Johnny nods, and I head back over to finish readying up.
I’m thinking that if I can have Jen and hockey, that’s my dream. But if I could have Jen and no hockey, could I live with that? Or hockey and no Jen? Nah. That’s not an option.
I grab my phone from my cubby and dial my Uncle Gerrard; he answers on the second ring. I reveal my thoughts, running over what I said to Johnny moments before seeing if Uncle G can understand why my dad is anti-girlfriend.
“Isn’t it obvious?” he says as I finish talking.
“He’s lonely, Ryan, and you and Liam getting serious and settling down means you’ll need him even less than you do now. He refuses to think of meeting someone new, and he’s still clinging onto everything staying the same as when your mom was alive. Let me talk to him.”
I feel relieved as he hangs up the phone. If anyone can get him to see sense, it’s Uncle G.
That night, Scottsy and I score three goals between us, sharing the assists. Coach is buzzing.
Chapter 28
