Katie
Istill don’t know what to think or what to do. I want to melt into the fury and hurt I feel. Maybe it’s petty, I don’t know. I just… I don’t know if I can trust them when they left out something so big. Carter tried to explain that he didn’t want to remember Brandy. He didn’t want to think of how rejected and used he felt, which started another fight about how used I felt.
Daddy tried to tell me that there’s been so much going on with us that he couldn’t keep his mind straight, that Brandy was a blip and I’m a comet that he can’t tear his gaze from. It sounds like something Brad would say.
I massage my temples outside the courthouse. I almost touch my belly, but no one here needs to know I’m pregnant.
That’s my choice to share. It’s my choice to talk about. No one outside of the guys and me know—other than my doctors—and I’d like to keep it that way. I sit in the back while the trial starts and stare at Brad.
Bruises are all over him. There’s not enough makeup to cover them up. He keeps swiveling around, glancing around theaudience. I know my mom is up towards the front, but Brad hasn’t spotted me… yet.
Henry and Carter keep him focused, even though the prosecutors are playing dirty—calling this a conflict of interest and a family affair. By the time the opening statements are done, Dan’s called up.
He goes on and on about how innocent he was. How he saw me and just wanted to go on a date. It was all innocent, then Brad punched him in the face. A picture is presented, taken off someone’s camera phone. The video shows Brad walking away. Dan says he didn’t approach me again, but that Brad kidnapped him in the middle of the night, dragged him out to a forest, and that he knew I was there, he could hear me, he tried to beg for help but Brad didn’t listen.
Of course, being the upstanding guy that Dan is, he didn’t blame me. He was sure I was afraid of my boyfriend and he wasn’t going to punish me for being too afraid to out someone who was obviously prone to violence.
Then Carter stands. “So you knew she had a boyfriend?”
“Yeah.Afterhe punched me,” Dan answers.
“Really?” Carter immediately picks up another video where I say it before he touches me and pulls me closer. “It seems like you knew beforehand but didn’t care, unless I’m wrong about that—can you clarify things for me, Dan?”
He grits his teeth. “Just because a girl has a boyfriend doesn’t mean she wants one.”
Carter hums. “Did she tell you that she was unhappy in her relationship and that she wanted to see you?”
Carter’s clearly chipping away at Dan’s innocence. He’s proving that Dan’s a liar, proving that he doesn’tknowit was Brad. How could he? He didn’t see anything. If his life was at stake, could he confirm it was me and Brad when there was nophysical evidence, just the word of someone who had already lied multiple times?
“Objection!” Dan’s lawyer yells.
“That’s fine,” Carter answers. “No further questions.”
Clearly, the jury is questioning Dan and Dan looks furious. We’re given a short recess and Carter comes over to me. He brushes his fingers over my arm. “How are you feeling, doll?”
I shrug.
“Did you eat this morning? Are you nauseous? Are you nervous? You look beautiful,” he rattles off.
“I’m… still frustrated,” I whisper.
“And I don’t blame you for being angry with us. We left that out. I honestly didn’t think it mattered. You’re not her,” he says in my ear. “I care about you. You matter to me. I told you over and over again that nothing was your fault, that we were just as much to blame. No matter what happens today, I’m still going to love you. I’m still going to think you’re strong. I’m still going to miss cuddling you while you do your homework,” he breathes before kissing my temple and walking away.
I shudder, uncomfortable, hating the idea of being in front of other people, but I know it’s going to happen and I can’t avoid it. Even if I want to. Even if I feel like I need to run away right now and avoid all this.
My hands wring together as I stare at my mother. I should feel guilt, but it’s faded beneath everything else. Drowned by other emotions, doubts, regret…
I linger in the thoughts, even as court has resumed. Until I hear her name. The name that gave me too much to feel the last days.
Brandy.
I sit a little straighter as I focus on the sound of heels clicking on the hardwood floors. I turn just to see a tight red pencil skirt, toned long legs, and a white blouse that’s all the way buttoned upwalk past me. Her long blond hair in loose curls cascades down her shoulders and I follow her with my stare until my sight spots a familiar face. I’m met with cold, hard-set eyes and for the first time in what seems like forever, I’m holding my mother’s gaze.
She shakes her head in disgust and I swallow the lump in my throat.
I shift uncomfortable in my seat as Brandy is sworn in. Her light blue eyes dart to Brad and the softest smile tilts on her full lips.
Fuck, why does she have to look like that?