That hits me hard because being a good father is what I want. I want to be there for everything. I don’t want to miss anything in my child’s life, and yet…
“I am a dad,” I say the words for the first time out loud. “I found out that I’m already a dad.”
He turns to the side to look straight at me. “What the fuck? You have a kid? When did that happen?”
I take a deep breath to steady my racing heart, but it does fuck all.
“Seven years ago.” I rake a hand through my hair. “I had a one-night stand when I was in East Hampton.”
“Seven years ago? And you’re just finding out now that you have a kid?”
Nodding, I glance at the beaded friendship bracelet on my wrist. “I found out two days ago.”
His brow furrows as he tries to put the pieces together. “How did you find out? Did this woman just appear on your doorstep? Do you have a son or a daughter, Holden? Tell me everything.”
“The woman passed away.” I give more details, trying to build up to saying what needs to be said. “Her best friend raised my daughter. She adopted her.”
His gaze jumps over my face. “Your little girl lost her mom?”
“She never knew her,” I explain, glancing at the bracelet again. “She died on the day she was born.”
He sits in silence with his hand covering his mouth.
“I wasn’t there for her.” I scrub a hand over the back of my neck. “I haven’t been there for her. She grew up without me, James.”
He throws an arm over my shoulder to comfort me. “You know now. Things can be different now, right? You can be part of this girl’s life.”
I clasp my hands together in my lap. “I already am. I met her the other night, James.”
“What?” His expression shifts instantly. “What’s she like? What’s her name? Does she look like you?”
“She’s smart.” I smile. “Kind. She’s full of love to give. I can see grandmother in her face. She has her nose. Her eyes are the same color as ours.”
He nods. “What’s her name, Holden?”
“Olive,” I say my daughter’s name for the first time to my brother. “Her name is Olive Irwin.”
CHAPTER SIXTY-TWO
Holden
“Olive Irwin?”Jameson repeats. “Greer’s daughter?”
I nod. “She’s my daughter, too.”
He gives me a look that reads all kinds of skepticism. “I’m lost, Holden. You believe Greer’s daughter is your daughter? Did she adopt Olive? How long has she known you’re Olive’s dad?”
It’s a lot to have thrown at me, but I brought him here to listen to my story, so I need to tell it.
“Almost eight years ago, I met a woman at a bar near the beach house.”
He doesn’t look the least bit surprised. He also doesn’t say anything.
“I had just finished picking up a birthday gift for grandmother.” I shake my head. “She mentioned wanting a gold four-leaf clover charm and she hinted that she wanted diamonds on it. I got her one with two diamonds.”
“One for each of us,” he says, jerking a thumb back and forth between the two of us.
“Yeah,” I affirm with a nod. “I couldn’t find anything like that, so I had a jeweler custom make it for me.”