Page 38 of Friendzone Hockey
Why? Why didn’t you want to go, Dash?
Dirk raises a brow. He didn’t ask me the question—that stupid little voice in my head did—but he might as well have.
“Dash? I think you might want to be with Stacey.”
Something akin to lightning flashes on the inside, adrenaline burns like liquor through my veins.
Fuck him for not lying to me. Can’t he lie to me, just one time?
“I think … I think I’m gonna pass out.”
Dirk’s strong arms hold me up, and I sink into them. Casey and Jack hold me like this too. It’s normal. It’s no different than what Stacey and I do. It’s not. Not different in the least.
I let Dirk sway me until my racing heart calms from hurricane squirrel to small whirlwind squirrel.
“We had our opportunity—no, opportunities, Dirk. Plural. It didn’t happen, and I wasn’t waiting for him anymore. It’s too late. I’ve made my choice, and it’s too late,” I repeat.
Dirk nods into my head. “Then it’s too late. You’ve got your man.”
“I do. Syd’s all I’ve ever wanted in a man.”
Dirk huffs.
“You don’t believe me?”
“It’s not that I don’t believe you, but you’ve always had a type. Remember when you crushed on Hunter?”
My cheeks heat. When I look back on it, it’s fucking embarrassing. I meet Dirk’s hazel eyes anyway because he’s like a brother to me, and I won’t let him know he’s getting under my skin. “How can I forget when you remind me every chance you get?”
“That’s why I thought it would be you and Stace. Eventually. Hunter’s too much of an older brother to you. Stacey’s the non-brother version.”
Stacey’s a helluva lot more than that. He’s everything. At least, he would have been everything.
“Syd’s got Hunter and Stacey qualities,” I argue.
“Syd’s the beta version compared to them, and you know it.”
I step out of Dirk’s arms, wiping at tears I didn’t know I was crying. “I’m marrying Syd, Dirk. This is just some stupid side quest.”
He crosses his arms. “This is an explosion waiting to happen,” he says. “Why are you bein’ so stubborn?”
“Knowing Stacey fucking Alderchuck, he’ll have some other martyrdom to kneel for. I’m tired of his brand of altruism, and I won’t do that to myself again.” The more I think about it, the more my hands curl into angry fists.
“There it is.”
“I’m toobrokenfor Stacey to treat me like I would have wanted him to. Syd doesn’t have any of those biases in his head.”
Stacey’s too careful with me. I want to feel alpha male energy. I want to be owned.
“Hang on, there’s a lot to unpack here. Did I hear that right? You haven’t told your husband-to-be about Robin?” he whisper-yells, looking around, making sure no one else is on their way back here yet. They aren’t. It’s just us, the smell of rotting shoes people forgot to take home, and piles of abandoned aprons.
“Yeah, and I don’t plan on it.” That was the mistake I made with Stacey. It ruined my chances with him.
Dirk runs a hand over his scalp, knocking the ball cap loose. Seeing that gesture triggers my brain, but I can’t grasp onto the why.
Oh.
Wait.
