Page 40 of Friendzone Hockey
So, do I. I don’t say it out loud, though. I’m supposed to be the responsible one in any situation.
The door bursts open, admitting—finally—the three clowns. Jack pushes Casey as an obnoxious laugh bursts from his chest. Idon’t even wanna know what they were talking about. Dash isn’t too far behind.
Dirk walks out from the back, already changed into his street clothes, ready to go home. I was hoping to stay for a bit. Maybe have a drink, maybe keep an eye on Dashie. That’s probably a bad idea and unnecessary. His dad’ll keep both eyes on him.
Travis appraises him. “Have you eaten, kiddo? I can make you a burger or something. Whatever you want,” he says.
“Oh, um, I ate already, but thanks, Dad.” Dash can’t look Travis in the eyes. There’s still a lot of guilt there.
Dash’s gaze lands on me, and he lights up. A special thrill moves through me, and imaginary bubbles pop against my chest.
He’s happy to see me.
Travis’s face falls, but only for a second. Something else steadfastly takes over and he sits back, analyzing his son—and me. Fucking hell. He can’t figure out the things I’ve been feeling about Dash. I’ve got to make sure nothing but “friend vibes” pass between us. Dash has finally settled in. I don’t want his life disrupted anymore just because I can’t control myself.
It doesn’t help that Dash runs up to me, expecting the kind of affection he’s grown used to in our house. I stand taller and push my chest out as if there’s some way to stop his joyful energy from penetrating my invisible fortress.
“I helped Casey make the food, even though it wasn’t my day because I was bored. There’s something for you to eat, I’m sure you’re hungry.”
He probably made food for everyone, but it’s all his attention focused on me that’s the problem. Everyone’s gonna take it to mean what it looks like. I know better. Dash and I have bonded over our moms. He’s comfortable. The lust is one-sided, and I know that for a fact.
“Thanks, man,” I say. “Appreciated.” I don’t wrap my arms around him like I’m itching to. It would be so natural, though. It’s like he’s supposed to be in my arms. Was made for them. Can’t I hold him in a friendly way?
“Before you go, I need a word with you in the office,” Travis interrupts. “It’s about scheduling.”
And my name is Jolly Old Saint Nick.
“Sit,” he says as he closes the office door.
A thousand balls of anxiety build and explode inside me at the same time. Travis isn’t just Dash’s—insanely protective—dad, he’s my boss. Casey and I can’t lose this job. There aren’t too many places that’ll accommodate a hockey schedule that pull in as much money in tips as this place does in the summer. It’s the cushion we need.
“I know how that looked, Travis, but I swear nothing’s going on.” Nothing active anyway, and it won’t. I have the fortitude to make sure of it.
Travis runs fingers through his hair. He had Dash young, so he’s not exactly an old guy, but a few gray hairs pepper the darkness and maybe a few more have sprouted recently.
“I know you’d never do anything like that to him, not when he’s in such a vulnerable state.” I assume “anything like that” means sex stuff. “I’m not worried about you; I’m worried about him. Clearly, he’s latched onto you quickly, and I’m fine with that. He needs someone, but he’s not well enough to have a relationship.”
Don’t I know it? I’m painfully aware of all this. I didn’t ask to be attracted to someone unattainable, it’s just a thing that exists as surely as it’s gonna rain in Vancouver.
I swallow down everything—my feelings, my pain, the ache of wanting him.
“I swear on Mom’s grave, Trav. I have zero intentions of going there with Dash.”
And I don’t. I don’t fucking care about my desires. I’ll do whatever I have to do to banish them to the pits of hell, which just happens to be my fucking heart. Yeah, my heart’s become its very own pit of hell. All it does is burn and suffer.
He sighs. “I’ve scared you—I didn’t bring you back here to scare you. You’re mature and wise for your age, but still young. I needed to make sure you knew where he was at. I don’t want him deprived of you either. It’s clear as vodka that he adores you.”
I hold up my palm. “I swear it, Travis. You can trust me.”
“I believe you, kid. All right, send him in here. He’s not gonna like this, but I’ve gotta say it.”
What a mess.
Dirk and I take the car the four of us share. Either Travis will drop them at the house later, or they’ll call us to pick them up. Dirk’s glaring daggers at me from the passenger seat.
“Say what you need to say to me. Your silent beef’s getting old, Dirk.”
“He’s my best friend. You don’t know what he’s been through. I see him imprinting on you like a baby raccoon and that’s fine, but it’s also as far as it’s going, got it?”
