Page 30 of Friendzone Hockey
What do I tell him?
The right thing. I’ve got to do the right thing. Especially when I have no intention of breaking things off with Syd.
The wrong thing would be telling him to continue to be mine without being mine. Stacey’s been my security blanket, my hero, and my source of self-esteem for so long, that’s got to be why I’m having this reaction. This was always coming. We never talked about it, but deep down, we knew this day was coming. We’d have to break off our friendtuationship. What better time than before my wedding? He can’t wait around for me while I get over myself.
But doing the right thing is hard, so fucking hard. I take a breath.
“Of course, it’s okay. Not gonna lie, it’s hard not having all your attention, but I’m being a big baby. It’s important to me that you’re happy.”
Stacey loses the brightness he came home with. He licks his lip as if he’s preparing to say something, but the words don’t come.
“What?” I ask.
“Even when you think you don’t have my attention, you have it, Dash.”
I can’t remember if I inhaled or exhaled last. Why do his words affect me so damn much? I need them to roll off my back. What’s the saying? Like water off a duck’s back?
They’re not rolling. They’re not water.
What’s the saying for when they stick like molasses?
I force a swallow, swallowing the fucking stupid shit that might come out of my mouth. I’m marrying Syd. I love Syd. I’m just being someabout this, blowing it up for no reason. Later, I’ll realize how much of a non-issue this is. I’ll laugh.
I’m so gonna be the duck.
Water, meet duck.
And know what? In the spirit of the knowing, the absolute faith that we’ll get through this awkwardness, I walk over to him. He stands. I’m not what you’d call a tiny man, I’m not even small. Maybe a tad small for a hockey player, but that doesn’t make me small. But Stacey’s always been larger than me. He’s a towering, almost six foot three and his presence adds another level of “big” to him. His size swallows me like it always does, my head lays itself perfectly on the perch of his shoulder.
My arms reach around, and I imagine that I’m trapping him with me forever.
Chapter
Five
THEN
Off-Season One - July
Stacey
Casey puts a casual arm around me as we watch Dirk and Dash pull up in Travis’s truck from our perch on the porch. “You’re a masochist, bro.”
“Fuck you.”
But he might be right. And I move quickly too—I’ve known Dash for exactly one off-season plus one hockey season, and here I am moving him in. What was I supposed to do? He was unhappy. An unhappy Dash is unacceptable in my books. Guess this proves that I’ll move heaven, earth, and my mother’s worldly possessions, to make him smile.
Our house in Kits sits on one of the last lots with a backyard. It’s two floors, a garden-level basement suite with a large bedroom, and three bedrooms upstairs. It’s spacious, and we’ve been living in it since our first year of high school.
Dash and Dirk make their way up the stairs empty-handed, save a duffle slung across each of them. Hunter and Travis will be along soon in Hunter’s truck with the rest of their belongings.
Dash rubs his left upper arm with his right hand in a self-soothing gesture. Big brown doe eyes pull me in. Who could resist those? I think he already knows he has but to flutter his damn lashes, and I’ll do anything for him. He’s sporty Dash today in baggy basketball shorts, and a Vancouver Orcas T-shirt.
My useless heart nudges me.Couldn’t we be together? Couldn’t it work?My heart needs to shut the hell up.
“Hey, Dash Nolan. I’m Stacey Alderchuck,” I say as if I’m meeting him for the first time. It’s like that for me, especially when I haven’t seen him in a day or two. I get to meet him all over again.
He rolls his eyes. “You’re ridiculous.” A palm slaps against my chest, and I catch it with my larger one.
