Page 6 of Asher's Answer
Cocking an eyebrow, I reach out and hold his chin between my thumb and index finger, tilting his head up to look at me. “I want to do this, Asher. And we’re going to talk it all through. But I honestly think you should have a nap first.” I keep my voice low but firm. “Would you be more comfortable talking now, or after a nap?”
His hazel eyes dart from side to side as they look into mine, and I can tell he’s gauging my resolve. There’s spirit inside this kid, and I suspect that once he’s comfortable he’ll be a lot of fun. On a shaky inhale, he grudgingly admits, “After a nap.”
“Good boy,” I praise, and I’m not oblivious to the shiver the words send through him. Letting go of his chin, I press a kiss to his forehead, delighting in the renewed blush it causes, and take his hand in mine again. “Come on. Let’s see your room.”
I hand him back his blankie and take him to the bedroom on the far side of the stairs, the one just on the other side of the living space from the master suite. When I open the door, I try to see the space from an outsider’s perspective.
It’s big enough to house a Queen size bed with two bedside tables comfortably, but there’s also a low-lying bookshelf which is covered in kids’ books, a few plush toys and a little set of Duplo currently built into a castle shape. The bed’s quilt cover is splashes of primary colors against a white backdrop, and the lamps on either side of the bed look like they’ve been built from Lego.
“Oh,” Asher breathes as he steps into the space, and I watch as his eyes go round and shiny. “Wow.”
“You like it?” I know he does. It’s warm and welcoming and perfect for a little boy, but I want to hear him say it.
He swallows roughly and nods. “It’s amazing.”
The walls are painted a pale blue with fluffy white clouds scattered abstractly. The carpet is a deep shade of blue and is lush and thick beneath our feet. In the built-in cupboard, I have a selection of onesies and pajamas which should fit him, as well as new pairs of training pants and some diapers…but they can all wait for another time.
And, yeah, I’m honestly that hooked on this boy already. I don’t care how insane that sounds. He’s clearly uncertain and vulnerable, but if Josh is right and he doesn’t have anyone? I want to be his someone. Well, I want to try. At the very least, I want to help him get back on his feet. I’m not letting this beautiful boy become another statistic.
“I’m glad you think so,” I reply to his assessment, unable to hide my pride. “It’s yours for as long as you want it.”
He pins those wide hazel eyes on me in surprise. “What? You don’t even know me. I-”
“Shh,” smoothing my hand through his curls, I shake my head. “We’ll talk after your nap, I promise.”
Asher makes a strangled sound at the back of his throat, his disbelief more than obvious. However, it doesn’t stop him from cautiously inching towards the bed. I take the lead, pulling back the covers and gesturing for him to climb up, then I slide in beside him and pull him close, until his head is resting on my chest.
I remember that I picked his pacifier up from the kitchen bench after his crying jag and pull it from my pocket and offer it to him. After a brief moment of hesitation, he takes it. He casts me another careful look from under his long lashes before he pops it into his mouth, and my heart squeezes.
Usually, I’d offer to read a book, but he’s not entirely little and I think just getting him used to my presence is enough for now.
Behind the rhythmic sucking sound, Asher’s breathing evens out within fifteen minutes, and it takes a handful more for me to gently pull away. I help him out of his socks and shoes and watch him for a few more seconds before I force myself to walk out the door.
Chapter Five – Asher
It’s dark when I wake up, and I have to blink as my eyes adjust to the dim light filtering through the window of the strange room.
It takes me longer than I’d like for the day’s events to click into place in my brain, but when they do I leap out of the sinfully comfortable bed and pause as my bare feet hit the carpet. My binkie drops from my mouth and hits the plush blue surface with a dull thud. I scoop it up and shove it into my hip pocket, wiggling my toes.
Charlie must have removed my shoes and socks while I napped.
He’s such a Daddy,my brain helpfully supplies, and I fight the urge to groan.
Despite my earlier meltdown at college, I don’t need a Daddy. Adding additional complications to my life right now would not be a smart move. Especially when I’ve never explored this aspect of my life with anyone else. I’m not ready.
Except this entire afternoon did feel magical.
From being held and rocked, to the kisses on my forehead…hell, even the embarrassing potty talk. It’s all I’ve ever dreamed about. Plus, he has toys and a huge bathtub and coloring books and kids’ books to read and…it’s all too good to be true. As if a man as insanely attractive and perfect as Charlie would want to bemyDaddy. I’m too unpredictable. Too inexperienced with this kink. I’ve only read a little bit online, after all: just enough to experiment with being little on my own. I’m too ashamed -too broken and anxious, even- to be a good little for someone else.
I find my shoes and socks tucked neatly away in front of the door and pick them up, snag my blankie back off the bed, then quietly pad across the small living area and down the stairs. I just make it to the front door and lift my backpack when Charlie’s deep voice stops me. He speaks with firm finality, demanding attention. “Asher.”
My shoulders drop in resignation, and I turn to face him, feeling guilty for attempting to flee without saying a word. He’s got his arms folded and a frown on his face that tells me he knows exactly what I was trying to do.
Unable to meet his gaze, I try not to drool over his biceps becausehot damnthey’re something else.
“I was just-”
“Running away?” His tone is dry, but there might be a tiny bit of amusement in it.
