Page 224 of Scoring the Player
“Thank you.” He kisses my forehead. “It means a lot that you came to me. That you let me see you hurting.”
“I need you to believe me when I say that whatever I felt for Aiden is in the past. Zuri, my therapist, helped me see why his return sent me spiraling, and it’s about childhood stuff. I should have told you about it.”
He nods. “It’s why you froze at Catharine’s birthday when I mentioned him?”
“Yes. I tried to forget that chapter of my life. I thought things would fall into place once I was in college, but I was just as fucked up there. I couldn’t make friends, I was struggling with being closeted, I hadn’t been diagnosed with C-PTSD, or anything else, so I thought the spiral was just me. Aiden was a hands-on coach, and at some point, all his attention started to make me feel like we could be more.” I pause. “We don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to.”
He massages my side. “I want to know. Did it ever become more?”
“No. I made a pass, and he pulled back and cut things off. I got drafted and tried to put all of it behind me. When I spoke to him at Ty’s, he explained that he saw me struggling and realized I needed a coach more than a boyfriend.”
“And how do you feel about that?”
“I mean, it’s hard to fight that argument when everything that happened led me here to you. I think it would have been helpful to know that what I felt from him wasn’t all in my head.”
“I understand that.”
I turn and reach for a sip of water and offer him my glass. After he takes a sip and hands it back, he says, “Your voice—it’s incredible. I can’t even…ahh. Look”—he guides my fingers across the goosebumps along his arm.
I grin. “I’ll sing for you anytime.”
“Noo,” he groans, rolling to his back and pulling me on top of him. “I can’t fall any deeper in love with you. I have a career, responsibilities…I can’t be stuck on the couch like I’ve been, replaying your video over and over for hours.”
“Boohoo. Welcome to my world, where every night is dedicated to ‘Late Night with Salem.’”
He arches his head to the side. “What’s that?”
I bury my face in his neck. “It’s when I watch YouTube videos of you until I’m either covered in cum or knocked out.”
He huffs out a laugh.
“Shut up.”
He kisses the side of my face. “I’ve been waiting for this—for you to let me in.”
I pop my head up and meet his eyes before I kiss him.
I moan at the first taste of his tongue as it pushes past my lips. One second, we’re both moaning into each other’s mouths, and the next, I’m on my back being spread open.
The entire day rushes out in a hoarse sob when he enters me.
He drinks each sob, latching on to my mouth. “Baby,” he rasps, peppering kisses up my face until he’s kissing away the tears pooling in the corners of my eyes.
I arch my head and capture his lips. A flash of him and Lucien kissing fills my mind, and I stiffen.
“What’s wrong?” he says, slowing on the next thrust.
“Nothing.” I close my eyes. “Keep going.”
“Hey,” he sinks inside of me, forcing out a gasp before he stops moving. “Talk to me.”
Why do I feel so raw?I rub the bottom of my palm across the sides of my eyes. The question feels barbed as it’s dragged out of my mouth. “Lucien...you kissed.”
“Fuck,” he murmurs. “Baby?—”
“It’s okay,” I cut him off.
“Hold on. He was congratulating me on coming out and said something about always wanting to do that. It wasn’t like how you and I kiss.”
