Page 57 of Loving the Legend
“That’s not fair. You promised. Am I still your emergency contact?”
“Of course. Who else?” he asks, meeting my gaze.
“I can’t always control how I react, but you can’t keep stuff like this from me. It’s fucked up.”
“I know. I’m sorry. Everyone at the fire department, Tom and Ishan, they all know to call you if ever…they know. Don’t worry.”
I nod and wipe my eyes.
Adam pats my hand. “Two things you smell.”
“Coffee and chicken.”
“And one thing you taste.”
“Ginger beer,” I reply, raising my glass for a sip.
“Good job. It takes only a minute or two, but it injects you back into the present when your mind is off track,” he says.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I’m drained, but my heart is beating normally again.
“How’d you learn it?”
“Therapy. I’m slowly building a toolkit of techniques. I can teach you other ones too.”
I nod. “Please.”
I head to the bathroom to throw cold water on my face.
“Continue telling me about Ishan,” I say when I return.
He swallows a sip of his coffee and nods. “Sure. At the end of his 24-hour shift, he brought over groceries, hot and cold bandages, and those word search puzzles I like. He made soup and spent his break by my side, tending to me. His family is from Bangalore. He's second-generation Indian American.”
“Sounds like a good dude. You think it could be serious?”
“I do,” he answers, trying to fight back a grin.
I chuckle. “Cool. I look forward to getting to know him when I’m back. I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks. You know I need your seal of approval. I can’t be with anyone who messes this up,” he says, gesturing between us.
“You deserve to be happy. I won’t let anyone mess us up.”
“Tell me about you and Sid,” he says in a hushed voice. I tighten my hoodie over my head and peer around at the surrounding tables. Everyone seems lost in their own world.
Our food arrives then. My stomach rumbles at the sight of Adam’s chicken. God, I’ve missed Caribbean food.
I bite into my roti and moan. This has to be God’s food.
I swallow a large bite and chase it down with water. “We slept together twice. No sex. Just fell asleep together. Though last time, we were wrapped around each other all night, mostly because he was sick, I think. The chemistry is intense between us.” My knee bounces under the table. “I think he’s bi…maybe…and I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m gay or at least bi. It’s just confusing as fuck, because I need to focus on my game. I already feel a lot for him, and it’s distracting. You know how hard I need to work and focus. I can’t see where it goes.”
“Hmph! Sorry, kiddo. Love doesn’t give two shits about your plans. By the sound of things, there’s strong emotional intimacy budding between you two. It’s a beautiful thing, really, being able to share emotional intimacy with another man. It has nothing to do with sex. I can’t tell you how many times a conversation or a hug helped me or one of my friends on the brink of a mental breakdown. For what it’s worth, you can have a career and a partner. They aren’t mutually exclusive. I don’t believe for a second that having a partner will hurt your game. Especially a partner in the NBA who understands the grueling schedule and training required.”
I try to imagine what a relationship with someone like Sid would look like, but I come up blank. I’ve never met anyone like him. He’s mature and smart. So fucking sexy. His voice alone…fuck. Being with him would consume me, and that’s terrifying.
“Maybe. I can’t think about having a partner right now. Not to mention, there’s also the matter of Sid dating casually. I don’t think he’d even want to commit to one person.” I’d never ask him to.
“Then keep it casual. What’s the rush? Be friends and focus on your game. It can be whatever you want. You’re young, for Christ's sake. Allow yourself to have a little fun. You deserve it.”
