Page 37 of Loving the Legend
He shakes his head. “You did it the right way, though most dudes might disagree with me. They only see the cheddar.” He sighs. “What was it like to graduate?”
I shrug. Adam was excited for me to walk, but I wasn’t into it. I looked around at my stoked classmates and their tearful families and couldn’t relate. There’s a framed picture of me in my cap and gown hanging in Adam’s house. Every time I’m there, I want to set fire to it. He might be relieved that it’s gone. A blank wall has to be better than staring at an empty person every day.
“I walked for Adam. He wouldn’t let me skip it. And for my parents. I know it isn’t the same, but you can hire private instructors to teach you that stuff. And there are books.”
“I have. Everything from how to be a better public speaker, business writing, and basic finance. I was never comfortable having people in suits think for me.”
That doesn’t surprise me…not with a brain that curious. “That’s dope, man.”
“Thanks.” After a beat, he asks, “Why basketball for you?”
“I suppose the reasons have changed. I’ve wanted to ball for as long as I can remember. Besides Adam, it’s probably the most honest relationship that I have. Then my parents died, and my reasons changed.”
“Oh yeah? How so?”
I shuffle to sit upright. “They died trying to get to my game. They sacrificed a lot through the years to help me go pro. Money, time, energy. I need to honor them by making their sacrifices worth it. I can’t fumble this.”
His lips part slightly, but he stops short of speaking. He brackets his arms over his head.
“What?” I ask, fidgeting under the intensity of his stare.
“I won’t pretend to fathom a loss like the one you experienced. But...it’s just a lot of pressure to put on yourself. You graduated for them. You’re chasing rings for them…I guess I’m just wondering whatyouwant out of life.”
“Chasing rings is what I want. I just said—”
“You just said that you do it to honor your parents.”
“Yeah, I did, but…” Tension stiffens my shoulders as I stare at the ceiling, trying to make sense of my jumbled thoughts. Ball’s taken on a different meaning, yes, but it’s the one area of my life that’s been consistent, and consistency isn’t a small thing for me. Has joining the league lived up to everything I thought it would be? Does it bring me happiness beyond my imagination? No, but the kid who spent hours believing that it would died five winters ago with my parents. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that sometimes I feel like an imposter living out his dreams.
I scrub my hands across my face. “I still ball for me.”
He hums.
I clear my throat. “I’ve been meaning to confirm something. My game in college. You were there?” Now’s as good a time as any to ask the question I’ve been curious about for months. To my surprise, he grins.
“I wondered when you’d bring that up. Yeah, I, uh, came to see you.”
I curtain off my grin with my hand. “Why?”
“I caught one of your games on TV and wanted to see you play in person.”
“What did you think?” I rush out.
He doesn’t answer right away, and I immediately wish I could reel back the question.
“I didn’t mean to put you on—”
“You remember the first time you went to a basketball game?” he asks.
“Uh…yeah, Madison Square Garden. I was seven or eight. It was me, my dad, and Adam. The Royals were in town.” I grin when I recall how ferociously the Choppers fought to defend our city. “Lightning Jack slammed down an insane buzzer-beater that almost blew the roof off of the arena.” Dad and Adam balanced me between each of their shoulders as we lost it, cheering for Jack and the rest of the team. “It was peak, bro.” My knee bounces, recalling how wired I was for days after.
“Lightning Jack! Wow, man’s a legend. I met him last year at the ESPYs. He’s the nicest dude.”
Huh. Maybe meeting your heroes isn’t always a bad thing. The grin slips from my face when it hits me that he changed the subject instead of answering my question. He probably thought I sucked that night. It wasn’t a blowout win, but we fought hard.
I rub my neck. “What about your first game?”
“My mom took me for my sixth birthday. She’d been saving up for a long time. I’d experienced nothing like it. The players were giants. At one point, I even wondered if they were gods. The excitement in the arena…my entire body felt like a beating heart. Even my skin had a pulse.” He shakes his head. “It was the purest form of euphoria. I’ve been chasing that feeling ever since. I catch strains of it from time to time, but nothing has ever come close.” He clears his throat. “That’s until the night I saw you play. My palms, my throat, and the blood under my skin vibrated. You ran—no—you commanded the court like the sky would fall if your team missed a play. No one wanted it more than you. You were exceptional.”
