Page 119 of Loving the Legend
Lily clicks off of speakerphone. “Sidney, I can hear that you’re very upset. I’m sorry you’re so far away and can’t be here right now. I need you to trust me. Ty’s okay. I checked his pulse, and it’s normal. I will hang up now so that I can pump him with water and food. If I see any sign that something’s off, I will call 911 right away. I’ll call you back within the hour…both of you.”She lets out an exasperated breath. “I know…you trust me, right? I love Ty too. Yes, but he’s not Paul, sweetheart.”
I grimace. He thinks I tried to OD like Paul? I only wanted to sleep through…whatever this is. I just needed a break. I’ve long been able to ignore the voice telling me to end it.
Lily raises each of my eyelids like a nurse. She shakes her head. “His pupils are fine. I know you’re scared, but I’m telling you he’s okay. Can you do me a favor? Grab an emergency session with Adrian.”
Fuck. He needs an emergency therapy session because of me? Why did I have to freak out and call him after my nightmare?
I shiver as I recall his tombstone and the drag of my last breath seeping from me.
It was so real.
Lily sighs and places the phone against her chest. “He’s making arrangements to come home.”
“Wait—what? No way! I’m fine.”
She places the phone back against her ear. “He doesn’t want you to pull out. I’ll take care of him. Just take a deep breath and try to get a therapy session before your game against Australia. Okay? I’m gonna go now. I love you. Call you soon…you too, Adam. Try not to worry. Focus on your recovery. Our guy’s in good hands. Call Adrian, Sidney.”
My shoulders slump forward. The burden of their concern, the burden of causing concern, the weight of it is crushing.
“I’m sorr—”
“Nope. No apologies or feeling guilty. You slept like the dead, is all. I tried everything to wake you. We were all a bit shaken.” She breathes a heavy sigh of relief. “You’re awake now, and that’s all that matters. Tell me. Where does it hurt?” She places the back of her hand against my forehead.
If only I could point to a fever. How do I explain a feeling so bleak that my entire body feels riddled with pain? I wish everything…everyone could just stop.
“I really just need to sleep. You didn’t have to fly all of this way. I’m sorry to have burdened you.”
She waves me off. “You’re family, and I always take care of my family. When’s the last time you had anything to eat or drink?”
“Had a sandwich when I got in.”
“Okay. How about this?” She picks up the glass of water on the nightstand and hands it to me. “Drink that down. Let’s get you up. I’ll make you a quick bite. If you’re still tired after you eat, you can go back to sleep. Deal?”
The thought of eating makes my stomach turn. I know it’s generous of her to stop everything and fly out here, but I really just want to curl up in a ball and turn everything off. Maybe the quicker I shower and swallow down whatever she makes, the sooner I can be left alone.
“Sid told me where you hide the spare key...in case you’re wondering how I got in.”
I nod. I figured as much.
She opens the door to leave, and I’m hit with the stench of sick.
“Shoot. I’m sorry. I can get rid of that,” I sluggishly move toward the wastebasket, but she beats me to it.
“I got it. Meet me in the kitchen.” For a second, she sounds just as commanding as my mom, and it causes an ache in my chest.
After brushing my teeth and showering, I open the medicine cabinet and hesitate, staring at the bottle of eszopiclone. I’m too fucking exhausted to fight the looming darkness. If they understood, they wouldn’t fault me. I uncap the bottle, pour a couple of pills into my hand, and swallow, drinking from thefaucet. When I enter my bedroom, my mattress is covered in fresh bedding.
I throw on sweats and make my way to the kitchen.
“I found a can of soup in the cabinet. Not much for me to work with here. I’ll run out and get groceries for us after you eat,” Lily says.
I wince at the bright light, craving the darkness of my bedroom.
“Thanks.” I slump down in my seat at the table. She tilts the pot of hot soup into a bowl, pops in a spoon, and slides it over to me.
“I can go grocery shopping tomorrow. I know you probably have to head back,” I lie. I have no intention of going grocery shopping. If I get hungry—unlikely—I’ll make do.
“Nonsense. I’m staying with you for the next couple of days. We’ll see how it goes after. And before you protest, you should know that until I feel in my heart that you’re okay, it will take nothing short of an army dragging me out of here for me to leave. So eat your soup and tell me if you have any allergies.”
