“And if it does?” I demand. “You want to play the hero, August, to save the fucking world, but someone has to save you from yourself. How many times do I have to tell you to stop running into danger? To stop charging in without a thought to your own safety? One day, I’ll lose my grip on you, and you’ll be gone. You’ll begone.”
“No, I won’t,” he insists, pressing his lips to mine. Salt coats the soft skin that’s damp with his tears, and he slings his arms around me to hug me impossibly closer. “I will always be yours. Always.”
My lungs fill with more oxygen than they’ve held in days, squeezing him closer until it hurts us both. “Tell me what to do,” I beg against his kiss. “I don’t know what to do.”
August pulls back, his lips swollen and cheeks slick with tears. “We have to go,” he croaks, apology written in the agony of his face, and I understand what it’s taking from him to ask. “We have to help.”
“What if we can’t? What if there’s no help to give?”
“We have totry!” he shouts, and anguish sweeps across his face as more tears fall. He presses his forehead against mine. Heavy breaths puff from his mouth as he attempts to get himself under control. “We have to try,” he repeats in a whisper.
“Not yet,” I beg, shaking my head. “Please, not yet. We need more time. Wehavemore time to figure this out.”
“You and I both know we don’t. If we wait much longer, they’ll know something suspicious is going on. It has to be now, El.”
“And if I refuse?” I ask, my own tears perilously close to the surface. “If I say no? That I won’t fucking allow you to put yourself at risk this time? What then?”
He gives a few abrupt, stilted nods of his head as he sniffles. “Then I would understand.”
My eyes close as I draw in a deep breath. “You weren’t supposed to agree with me, doc. You were supposed to fight me. Convince me you’d hate me if I held you back.Force my hand so I don’t have to make this fucking choice.”
A sad, wobbly smile crosses his lips. “I don’t ever want to fight you, and I could never hate you, Elas. I love you far too much for that.”
“Fuck,” I gasp as a single tear slides down my cheek, and August releases a quiet, pained whine when he sees it. “Fuck,” I repeat, pulling him closer and pressing his face into my neck. Both of us are shaking, and the monster inside me holds the bars of my ribcage and bellows to be set free. It begs me to give it control, and tuck August away somewhere safe.Hidehim until he forgets he ever wanted to leave.
But I know what it’s like to be caged.
What it’s like to scream prayers to the gods who no longer listen.
I won’t be his captor… won’t let his cries for help go unanswered.
If August needs to run, we’ll run together.
“I love you,” he says, his eyes golden-streaked emeralds with the facets of his tears that steadily fall. He clutches at my back and shoulders, pinching my skin between his fingers until it burns. “I love you so much.” He tries to say more, but my mouth molds with his until we’re woven together. Lips and tongues explore, slower and steadier than what time demands of us. We search, pressing closer and closer, trying to erase any molecule of space that dares attempt to separate us.
My fingers wrap around the hem of his shirt, and he whines as he pulls his lips from mine to toss it in a heap on the floor. He’s beautiful, bathed in the setting evening sun.Golden beams of light reflect off the gilded strands of his hair, making shadows dance over his devastating face. I dip lower, pressing kisses along the line of his jaw and throat, and he arches his back as I kiss my way down his torso. Light, coarse hair bisects his chest and fans out, tickling my chin as I drag my tongue over his nipple.
Neither of us hurries, even though he swivels his hips forward as he hugs my head to him. I suck the peaked skin between my lips and flick my tongue, taking my time as he gently rocks against me. There isn’t a single inch of his skin that goes unexplored. When I work my way back up, he claws at my shirt until it joins his on the ground. His mouth crashes into mine as my hands wrap around his back, dipping my fingers under the waist of his pants.
“Please,” he murmurs as I push a finger between his cheeks, teasing the crease of his ass as he rolls his hips. It’s maddening, being so close to him but still having the fabric between us—the sweetest, most decadent kind of torture. His cock digs into my abs, and I know he feels mine pushing up into him, too. I fight to undo his button and zipper, growling against his kiss when I can’t work his pants over his thighs.
He gasps as I stand, and he clutches my neck and wraps his legs around my waist. I place his feet on the ground so I can shove the rest of his clothes off, then step out of mine, never separating our mouths. Once we’re both naked, I pick him up again and pull his legs back around me, relishing the heat of his bare skin on mine. His heels dig into my lower back as I slide one hand under his ass, fingers brushing closer to where he wants me.
“Elas,” he moans, and I lack the patience to take the last few steps into the bedroom. His back thuds against the wall as I find his mouth again, and he writhes against me. He’s desperate, hips flexing up as he claws at my shoulders.
“Perfect mate,” I murmur between kisses, thrusting my own hips upwards as my cock drags against his skin. It isn’t enough, the faint friction only frustrating me as my body demands more. “Tell me you’re mine.”
He pulls back, the tears nothing more than salt-streaked memories on his flushed cheeks. “I’ve always been yours, Elas, and I’ll always be yours.”
It’s all the distance I can take, pressing our lips together again as I carry him into our bedroom. Our first night in our new home, and the pain of leaving it so soon ripples through me. It’s a physical ache so intense I gasp into his mouth, and August tries to pull away, but I don’t allow it. I don’t want to talk about the future, or the what ifs, or live in the impossible nightmares of knowing what we will risk.
I only want him.
Now and forever, I only want him.
I cradle the back of his head as I drop him onto the freshly washed sheets, a puff of sun-dried linen reaching my nose. August stares up at me, eyes heavy-lidded and his godsdamned heart on full display. Beautifully vulnerable. I kneel on the bed, resting his hips on my thighs as I canopy over him and kiss him again.
Again, and again, and again, rocking my hips forward and letting my cock brush over his with frustratingly light, exquisite friction. I kiss him until our lips are raw and swollen, and our hunger for each other becomes too greatto ignore any longer. He reaches between us and wraps his fingers around my cock, slowly stroking as I thrust gently into his grip. It’s patient and steady as I press my forehead against his, heat building in my core and radiating out in a dull throb.