Page 63 of Ronan

Calm washes away my nerves at the familiar teasing, although there’s a certain understanding in his eyes that makes me think he knows exactly what he’s doing and how much I needed it. “Ah, fuck you, pretty boy. I just thought you wouldn’t want to get your hair wet after you spent so long fixing it.”

“Mmm,” he hums, nodding in agreement. “It would be a shame. Tell me, sugar buns, what’d you do out on the road every time it rained?”

I laugh as he lets a grin slip. “Usually holed up in a cave or an abandoned house until it passed.”

“Fair enough. Luckily for us, there’s plenty of work to be done inside. There are several buildings we haven’t sorted yet.”

“What’s the plan here long term?” His eyes find mine with a hint of surprise, not expecting the question. “We agree that staying here permanently isn’t in the cards. Raiders will return to this camp eventually, and I’m not much help in a fight.”

Ronan’s snarl shows the tips of his fangs, like the tiny things are a threat.

So fucking cute.

“I’ll protect you,” he grumbles, and I suppress my smile.

“Calm down, big guy. I never said you wouldn’t. It just feels like we’re getting… comfortable.”

He nods, deep in thought. “The supplies here could take us years to find on the road, so I want to finish searching this camp. We can’t possibly transport it all, but we can prioritize what we find.”

“And take it where? We found gas, but we can’t caravan around the wastelands forever.”

“There’s a small village that keeps haunting me.” His dark eyes dart to mine, hesitation written in the lines of his face. My hand reaches across the table, and he draws a deep breath as he takes it, squeezing my fingers. “Commander Bravis ordered us to raid it for no other reason than he was pissed that people were living where he couldn’t reach them. He was obsessed. We spent weeks tracking them, until a hunter was spotted in the woods one day, and our scouts followed him home.”

He’s quiet for a long stretch, his eyes faraway. “It wasn’t the first time I questioned the ethics of what we were doing, but it was the first time I actively rebelled against it. As my team went in, Elas and I snuck ahead to warn the humans. They weren’t harming anyone, just surviving, and I was soangrythat I’d been put into such a position.”

“What happened?”

His voice is rough as he says, “Wetried. Understand, Cameron, that if we’d been caught, we would’ve been executed on the spot. Or at least, that was the excuse I gave myself, but maybe I was just a coward that didn’t want to risk more. Three houses. That’s all we could warn. Just three.”

“Did they get away?” I ask quietly. “The ones you warned?”

“Some, no. The others... I don’t know.” Shame paints his face as he gets lost in the memories. “That’s what I’d like to believe, but realistically... I could’ve done more, but I didn’t. Instead, I was a good little soldier and followed my orders with blind obedience.”

“That doesn’t sound like blind obedience, Ronan.” I squeeze his fingers as he stares at our joined hands. “You did what you could.”

“Did I?” he demands, eyes full of fire as they swing up to meet mine. “I should’ve slaughtered that terrible man a long time ago.”

“Another equally ruthless person would’ve stepped into his shoes, and you know it’s true far better than I do. There are plenty more just as awful as him waiting in the wings. Bad men aren’t stopped by a single death, and evil isn’t defeated by removing one of its soldiers. People who hurt others will always exist, and all we can do is try to balance the scales.”

“Fuck, I know,” he mutters, pulling his hand from mine as he buries his face in his palms. “Iknow.” Silence falls between us as I give him a chance to collect himself, giving a light squeeze to his shoulder before busying myself by clearing the dishes from the table.

I sense him before I see him, an awareness that tingles the mark on my arm. His deep breath pulls in, long and slow, and his heavy arms wrap around my waist, lips brushing my neck as he speaks. “That town… it was so well hidden. So protected. It’s been years, but I think I could find my way back to it.”

“What if someone else has claimed it?”

“It’s possible,” he admits, resting his chin on my shoulder. “But if others are there, maybe they’d take in a reformed monster and his mate.”

“And if not? If they tried to hurt us?”

Kisses dot along my neck, and he’s quiet, staring at the countertop. “Your safety will always be my priority, Cameron, and I won’t apologize for that.”

“That wasn’t a straight answer.”

He meets my eyes, steely determination inside them that shows me no matter how much he wants peace, his heart will forever be that of a warrior. “It wasn’t meant to be.”

Chapter 20

Ronan

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