Page 52 of Ronan

“I’m not upset!” His face reddens as his voice rises, the volume of his protest betraying him. Defiantly, he crosses his arms, his jaw tight. “The solar panels arefrustrating me, and my stomach is growling. Let’s eat lunch and I’ll be fine.”

“Nothing else is wrong?”

He twists towards me, offering a smile so plastic and strained it wouldn’t fool a soul on this planet. “That’s all.” I stare at him for a second then nod, letting him get away with his lie.

For now.

“Humans should come with warning labels and care instructions,” I mutter as I trail behind him.

“What was that?”

“Absolutely nothing.” I don’t miss the glare he throws at me before marching into the house.

Once we finish eating and rest for a few minutes, Cameron returns to his usual snarky self, with his sarcastic comments and confident attitude. Something’s wrong, though, and he won’t be pushed into sharing until he’s good and ready.

“What made you join the military?” he asks as he grabs the tools we found in the garage, and it surprises me. Up until now, Cameron hasn’t shown much interest in my life, and I can’t help the tiny flutter of hope that builds from the question. “Was it something you always wanted to do, or was there a terrible job market on the other side?”

I snort a quiet laugh, and he offers me a smile that feels like a truce after our tense morning. “It was all I ever knew,” I say, busying myself by thumbing through supplies, my hands needing to be occupied. “The village where I grew up was peaceful, despite my race being one of warriors. Mymother had been a fearsome fighter and died in battle before I could even walk. Father renounced violence and took me in search of a home where we could live without being expected to fight.”

I glance up and he’s watching me intently, the screwdriver in his hand forgotten. “When I was a young man, not even old enough to be out of my father’s house, a group of radicals invaded our village.”

“Your father?” he asks quietly, and I nod.

“He was killed trying to protect the others, but we were outnumbered. The military came and handled the attackers, but it was too late for my people. So many innocents were slaughtered. Commander Bravis was leading the troops and took me under his wing… brought me to base, put me in a group of young recruits my age and trained us to be killers. He claimed his platoon had been tracking the radicals for days and didn’t catch up to them until they were in our village.”

“You don’t sound convinced,” Cameron says, and when I look up, he’s standing closer. He gestures at the crate we were sitting on earlier, and I keep my distance as we sit.

“When he realized he was going to die, Bravis made a few comments that have me second guessing everything.”

“What did he say?” Cameron brushes his pinkie against mine, and I smile at the contact, hooking my finger through his.

“He told me I never had the balls to act unless I was given orders, and that’s the reason he took me at such a young age. He made it sound as if he orchestrated the attack, but I didn’t let him live long enough to ask any more questions.”

I take a moment to gather my thoughts, and Cameron doesn’t rush me, just waits with his pinkie laced through mine. “What if he molded me into this…” I stare at our joined hands, at the contrast of his golden skin against my darker mauve. Different… literal worlds apart. It accentuates the words that have haunted my mind since Bravis lie dying, rasping them in a last ditch effort to hurt me. “… this,monster? What if it’s true? What if everything I am today is because he made me this way?”

Cameron is quiet for a long time, but he never pulls his hand from mine. When he finally speaks, it’s slow and thoughtful. “I think he doesn’t get to take credit for who you are, Ronan. You may view yourself as nothing more than a machine he’s crafted, but there’s so much more to you than that.”

“Are you sure about that?” He wiggles closer, forcing me to put my arm around his shoulders as he tucks himself into my side.

“The past couple of weeks have been a lot... like,a lot, a lot... but in that time, you’ve never let me down. Even when I’m being an ass—”

“Is there a time when youaren’tbeing an ass?” I ask, grunting as he elbows me in the side.

“Way to ruin it, asshole,” he mutters, then sighs as he cuddles into me. “You’ve risked your life more than once for me. On top of that? You’ve been patient… mostly, at least,” he adds as I snicker. “No one has ever paid attention to me like you do… no one hasseenme. You brought me soap because you realized I wanted to be clean, and books simply because I was reading that stupid label. And don’t think I didn’t notice that honey you loaded in the van earlier.” When my eyes lower, I find him watching meclosely. “Don’t let that man get in your head, Ronan. Whatever he made you believe about yourself? It isn’t true.”

Unexpected emotions clog my throat as I lean forward, hesitating when I get close. “You are so very hard to read, Cameron. I don’t know how to give you what you need, and I’m worried I’ll mess this up before it even starts,” I whisper, and his eyes meet mine as he nods.

“If it makes you feel any better, I’m not sure how to give myself what I need, either.” I huff a surprised laugh as he shoots me a pained grin, placing a kiss on my lips before sighing and curling back into my side. “I told you, I’m broken,” he mutters, and my arm draws him tighter.

“Broken things are beautiful too,” I whisper, and he pushes his face into my chest with a soft sniffle. “All those cracks just make you more interesting, Cameron. Perfect things are boring, and you are definitely not that.” His hand lands on the hem of my shirt as he huffs a breathy laugh, shifting the fabric between his thumb and pointer finger.

“You stayed in the military after that?” he asks, returning to our conversation, and I recognize his need to distance himself from the heavy emotions.

“Yes… I was young and impressionable. Where else was I going to go? It took far too long for me to start questioning the orders we were given. Sometimes I wonder…” I trail off, stuck in my head as he wiggles beside me.

“You wonder…?”

“If I could’ve changed something somewhere along the way.”

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