Page 29 of Ronan

A shiver works through my limbs as he leans in and presses the ghost of a kiss against my forehead. “But I know this, mo’sziv. This isn’t me leaving. This is not me walking away. I wish I had more time to prove that to you, but I don’t. Ican’tstay, not yet. Please believe me when I say I will be back in a few days. I will come for you… and I hope you’re here.” His hand lands on my chin and tilts my face towards his. “I really hope you’re here,” he whispers, and my heart pounds in my chest as that string yanks me forward, needing to be closer to him.

I push up on my toes to close the distance between us, but he backs up, leaving only the memory of his hand on my face as he walks out the door and drives away, his tail lights disappearing into the night like he was never here at all.

Chapter 10

Ronan

A sharp rap on my barracks door startles me, causing my head to snap up from the worn pages of the book I’m reading. I use the term loosely, of course, because in reality, all I’m doing is staring at the lines as the words blur together. My mind is stuck inside an abandoned house with an infuriating human, too distracted to actually read.

“It’s just me,” Elas calls from the other side, and the churning tension in my gut settles as I yell for him to enter. His eyes dart around the room like he’s expecting an ambush, before he finally shuts the door behind him. “How’d it go last night?” We saw each other across the courtyard when I returned, silently communicating what we could, but the chaos made it impossible to have a conversation.

“Which part?” I ask, flopping onto my couch with an exhausted sigh. “The improvised escape plan, sneaking a dog from the fenced yard of some pompous captain while it tried to lick me to death, dropping my bleeding mate off in a trashy abandoned house, or the never-endinginterrogation waiting when I got back?” Only a couple of hours have passed since I made it to my room, leaving me without enough time to sleep before my next watch rotation.

“Um, well… all of it?” He offers me a half-smile that turns into a grimace. “Did Bravis try to pull the whole disappointed father act?”

“For about two minutes,” I snort, gesturing at the seat across from me, and he runs to the fridge to grab us both a drink before he sits. “That act hasn’t worked on me in decades, and we both know it.”

Elas grins around the rim of his drink. “Did he call you son?”

“Once, and it looked like it pained him to say it as much as it turned my stomach to hear it.” I take a long swig of water. “That ship sailed long ago.”

Bravis took us both in as young men. He molded us to be the perfect soldiers... his personal killing machines. The idolization we once held for him died a quick death as we got older, though, and saw him for what he really is—a monster among monsters.

I clear my throat, focusing on Elas once more. “Cameron saw me kill a man.”

Elas’s eyebrows rise, but he lifts his shoulders in a shrug. “I mean, it was inevitable someone was going to die in the middle of a mass escape.”

“He watched me snap a man’s neck with my bare hands.”

“Oh.” A quiet laugh huffs from between my lips at his apprehension. “How’d, uh… how’d that go?”

The corner of my mouth upticks as I remember Cameron’s lips near my ear, his breath warm on my skin ashe encouraged me to end that man’s vile existence. There are some thorns hidden amongst his petals, after all. “Surprisingly, it might’ve been the highlight of the day. The body came in handy… on my way to steal the dog, I swung into the chaos and grabbed the body. Have you ever tried to look casual with a corpse over your shoulders? Because it is not easy, even in the middle of a riot. I was able to hide it behind a dumpster until I got back, then put it in the van and said he’d escaped. Justified my leaving.”

“Waste not, want not,” he muses, raising his glass in a toast. “You dropped Cameron off safely?”

“Yeah,” I say softly, remembering the heat of his body as he stood so close to me in the dark. The near-silent whine that slipped from his throat as he pushed closer, fingers grabbing at my armor.

I could’ve had him, then, if just for a moment.

Could’ve tasted his lips against mine.

But my years in this world have taught me my limits, and if I’d let him kiss me, there wouldn’t have been any leaving him behind. Any boundaries I’ve managed to establish would’ve been blown away, and I would’ve stayed right there with him, unprepared and impulsive. It would only put Cameron in danger, but even knowing that, walking away was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

“And?”

“And I told him it’ll take me a few days to return with more supplies.”

“How’d that go?”

“He was fucking furious about me leaving, and if there was ever any question about whether he’s afraid to speak his mind, I can say with certainty that the answer is a resounding no.” I chuckle, but there’s no humor behind it. “I, uh… I asked if he’ll be at the cabin when I return.” It’s quiet for a moment, and Elas watches me with a guarded expression. “He doesn’t know.”

Elas’s lips pull tight, his tusks jutting from his lower jaw. “Doesn’t knowwhat?”

“If he’ll be there.”

“Shit,” he mutters, dragging his hand over his mouth. “You’re not going to just let him go, are you?”

I shrug, my gut twisting at the thought. “It’s his choice… I promised him that much.”

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