Page 107 of Ronan

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Terrified that once I do, he’ll never come back.

He cries, and my hands never stop moving as I memorize every dip and curve of his body. Salt coats my lips as I kiss each tear away, barely fighting my own as he releases the guilt that’s been gripping him for six long years.

Slowly, his sobs become hiccups, then fade into random shuttered inhales, and dread twists my stomach as I wait for the reality of our situation to register in his mind. “Cameron?”

“Yeah?” He sniffles again, burrowing his face into my chest.

My mouth moves but can’t form the words as my hand drags up his spine, soaking in the weight of him against me. He looks up, his chin digging into my sternum as his tear-reddened eyes land on mine.

They’re so fucking blue.

I never knew I had a favorite color until I saw them. Always thought the blood orange sunset of the other side was as perfect as the sky could get, but now I know better.

I’ll never look towards the heavens again without seeing him.

Loving him.

“Ro?”

I can’t meet his gaze.

Can’t risk what I might find there.

Can’t stand watching the azure skies of his eyes turn stormy and gray.

The sanctuary we’ve sought for so long may now be a curse, and I stare out at the silent village. “Do you hate me?” I finally ask, voice quiet.

“Hate you?” Breath shaky, I nod as I pull him tighter against me. My muscles strain with the force of it, and I’m probably hurting him, but I need to know that he’s here.

That he’smine, for however long I’m allowed to have him.

“How many people did you kill that day?”

The question takes me by surprise as I glance down at him. “None.”

“Wereyouthe one who alerted the military? Did you bring those soldiers out here to search?”

“No, but—”

“Didyougive the orders?” he asks, voice stern despite the sniffs that punctuate his words.

A frustrated sigh pushes from my lips. “No, but—”

“What would have happened to you if you had refused? If you’d fought back against your commander?”

“I would’ve been killed,” I answer without hesitation, and Cameron buries his face in my chest again.

“You would be dead, and I’d never have found you. You never would’ve been mine, and I would’ve died in that prison cell. These questions that I’ve carried, wondering what happened to my village, to my mother, would remain unanswered, and that guilt that’s weighed on me for years would’ve eaten at me until I took my last breath.”

Throat tight, I swallow, then do it again before I can force the words. “So, you don’t hate me?”

Glasses askew, he nuzzles into me, a bittersweet smile tugging on his lips. “I mean, I really enjoy getting you riled up and pissy. Fighting with you is probably my favorite pastime, but hate you?” He lifts on his toes and presses a kiss to my lips, the scent of his skin and the familiar weight of his body as much a piece of me as my own heart. My chest rises in the first full breath I’ve taken since I saw him fall to his knees. “No, I love you too much to ever hate you.”

“Gods, Cam,” I whisper, overwhelmed with a flood of emotions, and I squeeze him until his breath explodes from his lungs in a whoosh of air. “I thought you were going to despise me… that you’d leave me, and I’d have to spend the rest of my life—”

“Missing me?” he offers, still a little sniffly.

“Well, no, stalking you, but it would’ve been rough.” We both choke out a strangled laugh, and as I take several slow breaths, the tension in my chest eases. “How do you feel about staying here?”