Page 104 of Ronan

I sit up straighter, narrowing my eyes into the distance. “We’re close?”

Ronan nods. “If memory serves me correctly, it’s a hundred miles beyond the rocks. The terrain is rough out here, so we're forced to drive slowly to avoid a flat tire, and we got a late start to the day. If all goes according to plan, we should arrive tomorrow.”

Anticipation flutters in my chest, but I push it down. Until we see it with our own eyes, there’s no way to know what we’re walking into, and too much optimism only leads to disappointment. “The only thing left to do is hope nobody else has found this secret hideaway.”

“There is that,” he says, voice quiet.

I steal another glance over my shoulder, watching Nyx cuddle with Boomerang. “What do you think happened to him?”

A million unvoiced thoughts rage behind Ronan’s eyes, his silence heavy with the unspoken words. “Whatever it was, we have to accept the fact that we may never know. That look in his eyes? Defeated… hopeless in a way you and I can’t understand.” His gaze lands on the rearview mirror for a moment, then he sighs. “Whatever his story is, I’m positive it’s not worth repeating.”

Ronan’s hand finds mine, fingers weaving together as we drive in silence. When he offers Nyx the opportunity to stretch or take a bathroom break, he only shakes his head. Boomerang leaps from the van when we stop, nose to the ground as she zigzags, but Nyx stays put, curled into a ball. The image of him perfectly still in the cage, resisting the natural urges of his body, makes my stomach uneasy.

He accepts my offering of a protein bar and jerky, giving me a wobbly, nervous lift of his lips as he pinches the food, careful not to touch me. Relief brings tears to my eyes, and I have to stare at the ceiling of the van to contain them. Another smile graces his face when Boomerang returns, jumping right back into her spot by his side. Her loyalty is absolute—she knows he needs her, and to my surprise, I don’t mind sharing.

Ronan wasn’t kidding about the conditions being worse in this direction. Lack of traffic, foot or otherwise, has allowed weeds and rocks to accumulate unchecked. We trudge along, crawling over the ground littered with bumps and holes. Death traps, too, if the whiplash I’m developing is any indication.

The rock formation appears, looking just like a crow in flight as promised. Ronan nods to himself, more confident as he steers the van to follow the point of the beak.

We crawl.

And bump.

And lurch and thud and thunk until I’m worried the tires will give out before we make it. It feels like we barely put any distance between us and the crow when Ronan gives me a familiar sideways glance, telling me it’s time to find our resting spot for the night.

A half hour goes by before a dilapidated building appears on the horizon. It might’ve been a barn at one point, but its bones decided enough was enough, and now it’s just another ruin.

We approach at a snail’s pace, although there have been no signs of life for miles. The risk of others being inside is almost nonexistent, but even so, Ronan remains cautious. He leaves the van running as he gives me a pointed glance, waiting for me to climb into the driver’s seat before he readies his sword and creeps around the building. Unlike the times we’ve stopped in larger groves of trees, it only takes him a minute to clear the barn, and he’s pleased as he walks out.

“There’s room to pull the van inside,” he says as he nudges me over, climbing back in and putting it into drive.

“Uh…” I lean forward, eyeballing the building suspiciously. “Not that I’m questioning your judgement… although I totally am… are you positive it won’t collapse on us overnight? Because I’m telling you right now, if we’ve gone through all of this drama just to be crushed by some old, decaying piece of barnwood, I’m going to be fucking pissed. Like, I will haunt your ass.”

“The structure is fine.”

“Fine as a blood bag in a vampire den,” I mutter.

He glares at me as I flash him my most innocent smile. “The structure isfine,” he repeats with extra emphasis, “although the roof is missing chunks and a few of the interior walls have fallen.”

“Sounds totally fine,” I agree with a somber nod, and he takes a deep breath before pushing it out of his nose, driving to a large opening on the side of the barn.

“The roof won’t matter because it’s a clear night, and even if it rains, we can climb in the van.” The sudden shift from bright sunlight to dim interior makes me blink, the shadows dense enough to force my eyes to adjust. Grudgingly, I concede that everything inside is sturdier than it looked from the exterior.

My arms stretch into the air as my spine snaps and pops, muscles thankful for the movement after sitting for so long. The side door slides open and Boomerang darts out, zooming back and forth inside the barn before jetting into the sunlight.

Nyx climbs from his spot on the floor at a pace that feels like slow motion, crossing his arms over his stomach and hunching forward as he stares at the ground.

I close my eyes and lean against the warm metal of the van, listening to the guttural, rolling sound of Ronan’s voice as he speaks his native language. Nyx never voices a response, but since the conversation continues, I can only assume he’s giving some sort of nonverbal cues. It’s soothing, and after the excitement of the past couple of days, I find myself half-asleep where I stand.

A dull thud makes me crack my eyes open again, finding Ronan stacking wood on a barren part of the dirt floor. “It’s early enough that we can burn a fire and get something hot to eat in our stomachs tonight.” His gaze shifts towards Nyx as he says it, who stands at a section of missing siding, staring off into the distance with a faraway look in his eyes. I wonder how long it’s been since he’s lived off anything other than whatever stale scraps were tossed into his cage.

Dinner is simple, rice and more jerky with the last of the bread—plenty of stuff to stick to our ribs. Nyx takes small, delicate bites, working on his food long after Ronan and I have stuffed our faces, and he lets out the tiniest tinkling laugh when Boomerang swipes a piece of jerky from his fingers. It’s barely more than a huff of air, but I have to close my eyes to fight the rush of emotion it carries.

It says,I’m not okay, but someday, I will be.

It’s quiet as night settles over us, all three of us lost in thought as we process everything that’s happened. Nyx curls up with Boomerang in a quiet corner, and she is thrilled with the extra attention. Ronan and I stretch out beside the van as night settles on top of us, and I can’t stop touching him as I consider how differently the past twenty-four hours could’ve gone.

Ronan’s hand finds mine in the darkness and our fingers weave together, but it isn’t enough. Soon my head is on his chest and his arm is thrown around my shoulders, and then I’m straddling his hips as I tuck my face into his neck. “I’ve got you,” he whispers as I fight the urge to cry, holding on to him for dear life as I nod. His hand smoothes my hair, and we stay like that under the star-dusted sky,wondering if tomorrow will finally lead us to what we’ve been searching for.

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