Page 87 of Ronan

“If I have to wear this stuff another day, it’s going to stand up on its own.” Cameron picks at the sleeve of his leather jacket, his fingers agitated. We’re going slower than I’d like, the condition of the road so bad in stretches that it almost makes more sense to drive in the dirt. Two days of crawling along have frayed my nerves, the few strands that remain getting weaker every day.

Our gasoline supply is dangerously low, and it didn’t help that I doubled back once for a few miles, because I was convinced I’d driven too far. The mistake cost us precious fuel, and it’s not like I can stop and get more. If we run out, we have to abandon the van.

Which means abandoning the supplies.

Failing Cameron.

We are nearing the village. Iknowwe are, because that deep ditch with a single tree leaning precariously over its edge? I’ve seen it before. It’s a milestone I’ve used in the past, a warning that the road splits a few miles ahead, and I know without a doubt to veer right. Sure enough, the sun-bleached asphalt forms a V, the dilapidated ruins of an old street sign like a grave marker between the two choices. Commander Bravis had me tracking for weeks, so these landmarks are burned into my brain.

But there’s that nagging in the back of my mind.

That insistent worry that I’ve gotten it all wrong.

Memories fade with time and warp with distance, and I’m terrified I’m leading us astray.

“The jacket is to keep you safe,” I say for what must be the twentieth time, clenching my hands on the steering wheel. “You saw how my armor protected me from that sword.”

“Okay, but who’s swinging at me with this imaginary sword? The only one around is you. If you’re hinting at wanting to murder me, just come out and admit it. Honesty is important in a relationship, and all that jazz.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’ll be sure to ask any potential threats to hold off on violence until you’re fully dressed.”

“Appreciate it!” His voice is overly bright and a little too loud, and I sigh, my fuse dangerously short. Both of us are on edge, the tension from sitting in the stifling car almost overwhelming. Cameron’s usual snark has a hateful edge to it, and my patience is non-existent. My initial optimism of our journey has nearly vanished, eaten up by the uncertainty that sits like acid in my stomach.

Right now, he’s gasoline and I’m a match, and it feels like an explosion is inevitable.

“Um,” Cameron mumbles as I search the horizon, desperate for anything with even the smallest sense of familiarity. “Uh… Ronan?”

“What?” I snap, squinting my eyes as though it might help me see further.

“What’s the traffic like on this stretch of road?”

“Traffic?” Unable to hide the annoyance in my tone, my filter all but disappears. “There is no traffic, Cam… there are no fucking vehicles except the particularly wealthy rebels and the military. If you see another car, we’re probably fucked.”

“Oh… yeah, okay. Ronan?”

“What, Cameron?” I roar, the sudden noise causing him to flinch, and regret clenches my stomach. “Fuck, I’m sorry, I’m just stressed and…”

“There’s a car following us.”

“What?” My eyes fly up to the rearview mirror, cursing myself for focusing solely on the road ahead and missing the cloud of dust forming behind us. The vehicle speeds along, quickly closing the distance.

“This would be a fantastic opportunity for you to tell me you secretly shift into, like, a dragon or something.” When I don’t answer, Cameron sighs. “Can we outrun them?”

“Not in this, we can’t. If we had a different vehicle, maybe, but if I attempted to go off-road and hide, there’s no doubt they’d catch us.” A furious stream of obscenities explodes from my lips, my native language making a rare appearance in my anger, and it makes his eyebrows shoot up his forehead. “You will stay silent and let me handle them. Do you understand?”

He balks at my harsh tone, but tries to cover up his discomfort as he rolls his eyes and wipes away the film of sweat on his forehead. “Geez, is the honeymoon phase over so soon?”

“Be serious!” My thumb hikes over my shoulder at the approaching car. “That is a military vehicle, and I ambegging you to follow my lead. Please, for once in your life, listen.” Eyes pinched and lip drawn between his teeth, he nods, and the rare sight of him so unsure cracks my anxious heart right down the middle. I force calm into my voice as I reach over and squeeze his hand. “I do not mean to scare you, okay? Just let me take care of it.”

“Yeah, alright, I’ll be quiet,” he says, voice shaking even as he attempts to hide his nerves.

This is my fault for not paying attention.

My fault for doubling back unnecessarily.

My fault.

If I’d found my way to the village sooner or gotten off the road when they were nothing but a speck in the distance, we wouldn’t be here right now.

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