Page 75 of Silas's Sweetheart

He wanted to share that with Ziggy, it being a big part of who he was. This place was vital, now more than ever with the changes to his life. What he discovered talking to Popi was howmuch he wanted to share this part of him. A part he had never shared with another soul.

By the time he got to the cabins, they were all lit up and he could hear voices carrying beyond the closed doors. He groaned at the bitching he was going to have to endure the following morning. This wasn’t the best idea for romancing Ziggy if all he got was verbal diarrhea from his brothers.

“You gonna stand out here all night?” Ziggy murmured from the shadows of the porch, rising from the swing seat that Silas hadn’t noticed him sitting on, so lost in his thoughts.

“Was just enjoying the night air and the music of the ranch.” He strolled up the steps, unable to make out Ziggy’s expression in the shadows. The light spilling through the windows cast him in a halo, further hiding his features.

“It’s beautiful here. The night sky feels bigger. Clearer.”

Silas came to a stop in front of Ziggy, reaching to stroke his bearded cheek. “I love it here. I found my center at this ranch.”

Ziggy leaned into Silas’s touch and his heart fluttered at the simple move. “How so?”

“Let’s sit.” Ziggy went with him to the swing and when he didn’t sit immediately Silas glanced up at him, frowning, thinking he’d picked up the wrong vibe. “You want to go inside?”

The light from the window revealed Ziggy’s grin. “Nope, I wanna sit on your lap.”

“Oh…” Silas came forward and without hesitation picked up Ziggy and settled him on his lap, lifting his booted feet onto the swing, cradling him close. “That ok?”

“Perfect.” Ziggy laid his head on Silas’s shoulder and placed a hand over his heart. “Go on. You were sayin’ this place gave you your center.” He kept his voice low, so it didn’t carry.

“I’ve loved horses for the longest time.” Silas brushed his cheek against the silky strands of Ziggy’s coconut scented hair, inhaling. “Did you know a horse can sense emotions from milesaway? I learned that when I was a teenager. Popi encouraged my love of horses when I was young, but they didn’t truly become my savior until Jason. I believe when I went to the stables to ride, the horses knew my pain. They came to me more freely, like they wanted to heal me. Even the horses that were harder to handle.” It sounded whimsical, but it was no less the truth for Silas.

“I cut myself off for the longest time after Jason’s betrayal and I struggled with nightmares. But when I visited the stables, things always seemed easier to manage day to day. Ideas formed about what it would be like to buy my own place. Dad even offered to buy a place for me.”

“Nice.”

“Yeah, but I refused. I wanted something I worked for. That was mine. Do you understand?”

Ziggy nodded. “I do.” There was something about his reply that Silas tucked away to come back to later.

“Hidden Desires was what gave me the money to buy this place.”

Ziggy shifted, peering up at him, and Silas grinned at the look of confusion. “How so?”

“I part own the club with Sax. He is my friend, and he came to me with the idea of an exclusive heat club that catered to desires that met the omega, beta, and alphas desires. I thought it was a great idea, so invested in the place and it turned out to be way more popular than either of us expected. It gave me the cash to buy the land here.”

“Wow, no one mentioned this.”

Silas chuckled, bringing Ziggy closer. “’Cause only a handful of folks know ‘bout it.”

“Oh…”

The chuckles increased at Ziggy’s uncertainty. “I don’t share this information. Not all my brothers know. It’s private, but Iwant there to be no secrets between us. I’m probably doing this all ass about. This was supposed to be about romancin’ you, not burdening you.”

Ziggy remained silent, the hand over Silas’s heart making patterns against the material.

“I have trust issues that stem from Jason, as I said. Booker played right into those when he found out about your offer to Frey and he was angry enough he needed me to help calm his ass down. Only it backfired. I… I was hurt that you’d fuck someone else and not tell me… that you wanted to do that when I…” It was painful to swallow, his throat closing on what he said next. “That maybe I wasn’t enough for you.”

The swing rocked and the chains clinked at the sudden weight shift as Ziggy changed position to straddle Silas’s lap, hands holding his cheeks firmly.

“Look at me,” he demanded, and Silas realized he’d dipped his gaze. “I was offering to help a friend in a difficult situation. And I’m to blame too, for not being up front. I could have found a way to explain the situation without breaking Frey’s confidence, but I didn’t.”

“No, it’s hard to admit it, but you were right not to share something so personal for Frey. If Booker had wanted me to do something like this, if the roles were reversed, I would have helped, and I wouldn’t have broken his trust. I wasn’t honest with you or myself about wanting more than we had.” He pressed in closer. “You said in the beginning that communication is important and I didn’t get it. I’m sorry for hurting you. If I made you feel less than in any way, I did it believing you broke my trust.” His breath caught in his chest as he struggled to keep himself together.

“It fucking hurt and broke my damn heart.”

Ziggy hands tightened, sincerity shining out at him. “I’m sorry, too. I can see how offering Frey my help could becomemisconstrued, but know this…” He placed his mouth on Silas’s and whispered, “I was never going to fuck Frey, not in the way you believe. I only wanted to help a friend. The only one I want is you. My snake only wants you. No one has touched me since we met in Hidden Desires.No one.”