Page 59 of Silas's Sweetheart

“You could have come into the office.” Booker’s teeth actually snapped together on each word.

“Is this really the place for this conversation?" Frey asked softly. “I apologize for any inconvenience I caused. It was not intentional.”

“How so?” Silas snapped, too far gone to get his head out of his ass, which was what he should do.

“Silas!” Booker growled, his teeth dropping in his gums and gleaming in the overhead light.

“I apologize, too,” Silas muttered, holding Booker’s gaze, daring him to let go, so he’d have an excuse to unleash his frustration on him. “Which other trucking companies did you look at?”

Silas kept it together for the remainder of the meeting, then left quick-smart to avoid Booker.

Hustling into his office, he shut the door behind him and leaned against it, his eyes burning and his throat closing up. The misery came hurtling down at him like a ton of bricks. His brother's happiness was the catalyst to demonstrate just how badly he’d fucked up with Ziggy. It didn’t matter which way he turned, life was showing him what a mistake he’d made by not owning his feelings and his past.

How had he gone from not wanting a serious relationship to thinking about nothing but that?

You’ve always wanted one.

Honestly, I don’t need this shit right now.

When is it a good time? Tell me? Ziggy is ours and was the moment you asked to see his snake.

His jaw ached as he held back a scream of frustration. First Taylin and Hollis being all loved up, then Booker, the traitor, slapped Silas upside the head with a reality that left him scared shitless because he had fucked up badly.

I want Ziggy… happy! I want him so bad I can’t fucking see straight. But—

No, that cock sucker Jason is not Ziggy. You’ve seen that for yourself, now let him the fuck in. He’s ours to keep!

On unsteady legs, he sank down on the seat behind his desk, burying his head in his hands, the tears he seldom gave into streaking down his face. The release left him shaking as the sobs tore from him. The hurt and betrayal of the past mixed with regret. Like a broken faucet, he couldn’t control his emotions asthey gushed out in ugly tears. They were worse than those he’d shed with Popi.

“What the fuck?” Booker rasped, tugging at his tie, barging into his office.

Silas’s head shot up. Blurry eyed and struggling to bring himself back under control, he stared at Booker, watching him come into the room and quickly shut the door behind him.

“What’s wrong?” Booker demanded gruffly. “Is there something wrong with Dad? Popi?”

Silas scrubbed his face and shook his head, sniffing loudly, mortified at being caught like this. He should have known his brother wouldn’t let it lie and chase him down… maybe he had?

“Then what is it… is there something wrong with…you?” He came around the desk to perch his ass on the corner, never once looking away from Silas. “I know we haven’t been seeing eye to eye of late. But you know I love you. Would do anything for you.”

Silas pressed his fingers to his eyes, willing away the fresh tears that wanted to fall, doing his best not to fuck with his contacts.

“Talk to me, you fucker,” Booker growled fiercely. “Are you sick?”

Silas’s hands dropped away, his heart bumping against his ribs at the fear coming from Booker. “No, I’m not sick unless you call getting stuck on something and you can’t unbridle!” he muttered mournfully.

“You’ve lost me. Are we talking about a horse?”

Silas’s bangs fell over his forehead as he shook his head, sitting back in the chair, feeling defeated. “My horses are fine, or they were the last time I checked in with Ethan.”

“Then what the fuck is it, you asshole, you’re worrying me. I haven’t seen you cry since…”

“Since your dad went to hit Popi,” Silas finished for him. He’d cried that night for losing the innocence of that first love. Forbetrayal. For what Booker had lost. All of it forever etched into his brain. He’d clung on to how precious Booker’s friendship was when it gave him a brother when he’d needed it most. Someone who always had Silas’s back, regardless of how it affected him.

Everything had changed when Silas had taken a shortcut Jason had said would allow him to avoid the bullies at school and played right into their hands. Half a dozen boys had dragged him into an alleyway and beaten the crap out of him, one of whom was his boyfriend. The same back alley it turned out Taylin had hidden in after getting kicked out by his parents for being divergent. He had jumped in to help Silas, but it was Booker showing up and shifting that had made the difference—that saved Silas’s life.

Had he though? Jason had stolen something precious from him. Dad was right, Silas had trusted no one but family since then. He hadn’t let anyone get close to stop them all from hurting him again. Yet here he was, hurting in the worst way.

“Yeah, since then. That night changed everything,” Booker said softly. “It made us brothers, and nothing has changed that… yet somehow I’ve managed to fuck you off enough to make you distance yourself from me.”

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