Page 68 of The Hookup Situation

There’s a collective gasp and I realize every single eye in the room is on me. But I don’t fucking care.

“Preston, calm down,” Jackson says, holding a hand up, right before I shove Reindeer Idiot.

“Get your fucking hands off him,” I snarl.

“What the hell?” Jackson’s voice is much angrier this time. “Preston, lay off, it’s none of your business.”

Fuck, I feel like I’ve been punched in the sternum. “Fuck you,” I retort. “I can’t do this anymore, Jackson. I’m fucking done. Have a nice life.”

I look at Lucy as tears sting at the corners of my eyes. “I’m sorry.” Then I head for the door, grabbing my coat on the way out.

Merry fucking Christmas.

EIGHTEEN

JACKSON

Shit. I never meant for it to go this far. I had no idea Preston would be as upset as he was. After all, I'm no one special. I’m not worth getting that upset over.

When I saw him come in the door I started to panic, and immediately found the person closest to me to start up a conversation with so it would look like I was enjoying myself, as opposed to what I was doing, sulking in the corner alone, thinking about the dozens of messages he’d sent me and telling myself I had done the right thing. That it didn’t matter if I was in love with him because he deserved better. And eventually he’d wake up and see that.

Unfortunately the guy I started talking to, Travis, took it as an invitation to put his hands all over me. And while I wasn’t a fan, I figured I could deal with it for an evening if it meant distracting myself and Preston leaving me alone. I never expected him to grab the guy after he got a little bit too friendly and shove him away.

The hurt on his face when I told him to lay off and that it wasn’t any of his business, was so real, and I’ve never seen him look so dejected.

When Travis rights himself after stumbling from the force of Preston’s shove, and makes his way back over to me, I brush him off and head for the door.

Preston is making his way down the stairs and outside by the time I get out there with my coat and shoes on.

I have no idea what I’m doing or why I’m even chasing him, but I couldn’t let him leave like that.

I feel the cold air biting at my face as soon as I step outside and spot him several feet in front of me, standing on the sidewalk, no doubt waiting for his ride to show up, since I’m sure he came with Chris.

I take a few more steps so that I’m closer to him as he shoves his hands in his pockets and ducks his head to keep the chill away.

“It’s better this way,” I say, and he turns. His cheeks are streaked with tears and my breath catches as he wipes them away.

“For who, Jackson?”

I swallow. Just being around him again is making my skin come alive with the need to touch him. I want my hands in his hair, my lips caressing his skin. I want to taste his sweat, and feel him come alive underneath me. It takes everything I have not to move closer. “For both of us.”

His jaw clenches and his eyes narrow as he stomps closer to me. “Look me in the eyes and tell me that this is what you want,” he almost shouts, his finger hitting me in the chest.

“I’m doing this for you!” I shout back, shoving him away.

“What?!” His pitch matches mine now. “Why the fuck would you think this is what I want?” Tears fill his eyes again. “I’m…I’m falling in love with you, Jackson, and instead of letting me you’redoing everything you can to push me away, and I just want to understand why.”

“Because I’m not good enough!” I roar, and tears fill my eyes now. “Because I have never been good enough. Not for the guys I slept with, not the guys I dated, not even for my fucking parents, who can’t even bother to pick up a goddamn phone to wish their son a happy birthday, or get on a fucking airplane to watch him perform in the show he’s dreamt of being in his entire life.

“I’m not the guy who gets the happily ever after, okay? I’m the fucking stand in. The guy the other guys fuck until someone better comes along! No one wants me!”

“I want you!” he bellows, stepping closer once again. “I’ve wanted you from the first goddamn day! I willalwayswant you! There is no one else for me.” There’s a pause, and his voice is softer when he speaks again. “But I can’t make you trust me, and I can’t make you believe me. You have to decide to do that on your own.” He takes a breath.

“I understand that you’ve been hurt, Jackson, what I don’t understand is why I am being punished for something I didn’t do.” He’s close enough now that I can feel his breath ghosting over my face. My breath hitches when his cold hand rests on my cheek. “Let me love you, Jackson. Let me show you that I’m not those people.”

I swallow.

“I’m going home tomorrow, so if you’ve decided you want me, too, you know where to find me. I love you, and I promise to guard your heart if you can be brave enough to let me have it.” He kisses me and then gets in the uber that just pulled up and drives away.

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