Page 61 of Covenant

This dream is definitely not about eating pudding. The fear in his voice brings something out in me. Something I haven’t felt in a long time, not toward Matthias anyway.

Protectiveness.

I shake his shoulder. “It’s okay. You’re safe. Wake up.”

Nothing. He just moans again, tears leaking from his closed eyelids. “Please. I’ll do whatever you ask. Not him. Hurt me instead.”

My chest constricts until I can’t breathe. Is he dreaming about his dad? About standing between him and his siblings?

Enough. He needs to be free of this hell. My feelings toward Matthias are more complicated than the Geneva Convention, but I can’t stomach seeing him suffer a second longer. Not like this.

Shoving the sheet away, I straddle his waist. With my weight atop him, he stops thrashing. Cupping his face in my hands, I bring my face to his. “It’s okay. It’s not real. You’re safe. I’m not going to let any fucker hurt you. Wake up, Matt.”

His eyelids flicker.

“Come on, Matt,” I continue, urging him to wake. “It’s okay. You’re safe.”

He blinks, confusion shrouding his gaze.

Then everything happens so fast that I can’t quite process it.

His hand shoves under his pillow.

I’m flipped on my back.

A dagger is pressed to my throat.

Matthias’s lips are pulled back in a snarl, his eyes shadowed.

I can’t do anything more than blink up at him. Why the fuck does Matthias sleep with a dagger under his pillow? And why is his instinct to put it to someone’s throat?

I swallow, feeling the blade scratch at my skin. “Matt, it’s me. Wy. You’re safe.”

With shaking fingers, I wrap them around his wrist. The one holding the blade that could end my life at any moment. I don’t pull it away. He won’t hurt me. Not like this. That truth exists in me with as much certainty as my own name.

He squints, his voice hoarse. “Wy?”

“It’s me,” I breathe. My thumb strokes the inside of his wrist reassuringly. “It’s just me. You’re safe.”

“Fuck.”His weight lifts off me as the dagger falls to the floor with a clatter. Bright light fills the room and then Matthias is towering over me again, his eyes wide. “Oh my god. Did I hurt you?”

He doesn’t wait for me to answer, his fingers tilting my head back and skimming down my neck.

“I’m fine,” I rasp, lifting my chin higher so he can see. “Completely fine.”

His hands are shaking as he removes them. They immediately go into his hair as he staggers backward. “I could’ve hurt you. Fuck.Fuck.”

“It’s okay,” I lift onto my knees. I can’t help but reassure him. I don’t like this version of Matthias. The one who’s trembling and haunted. I want the old him back. The one who’s too cocky for his own good. Who takes what he wants and doesn’t give a fuck about anyone. “You were having a nightmare. This is my fault. I shouldn’t have sat on you like that. It startled you.”

“I could’ve hurt you,” he repeats in a whisper, staring down at the blade.

“But you didn’t.” I reach out and wrap my fingers around his wrist again. “You wouldn’t hurt me. I know that.”

A furrow appears on his brow as he looks down at where I’m touching him. “You called me Matt.”

I hide my flinch. I hadn’t even noticed. It’s such a common shortening of his name, just as Wy is for mine. But he told me once that I was the only one allowed to call him that.

Just as he was the only one who could call me Wy. That hadn’t changed after everything that went down between us. Even Jen got corrected the few times she dared to shorten it.