Page 147 of Covenant

Before he does so of his own volition.

“Matt, look at me, baby.” He uses his fingers to make me follow through and something in me breaks at the sorrow in his eyes. “I don’t think that’s what you did. You did manipulate me, but not because you wanted to take advantage of me. I know I said it in the heat of the moment, but I don’t think you’re capable of that. Not where I’m concerned.”

He waits for me to speak, but I don’t know what to say. If Wyatt gives me any fucking hope, my brain will run with it and never let go. It’s best to just let him get what he needs to say off his chest and be done with it.

“I’ve been thinking a lot,” he says, when it becomes apparent I’m not going to speak. “About you. About the past. About everything that went down between us. And you want to know the conclusion I reached?”

My lips twitch into an almost ghost of a smile. My muscles ache at the unfamiliar movement. Even when he’s not practicing, Wyatt can’t help but slip into the lawyer speak.

The corners of Wyatt’s eyes crinkle, like he noticed the tiny movement and it pleases him. “I think none of it is your fault.”

I go to interject, but Wyatt stops me. “No. Don’t say anything yet. Just…let me get this all out. Okay?”

I nod woodenly. I’m back where I’ve spent most of my life—completely uncertain about what’s going to happen with Wyatt. It should bring a familiar relief.

Instead, it just makes my heart ache more.

Wyatt takes a deep breath and squares his shoulders. Heat burns from where his fingers still rest on my jaw. “Let’s look at the facts. You fell in love with me when we were teenagers.”

I freeze, not knowing what to do. Wyatt told me not to speak, but he seems to be waiting for some sort of response.

I nod.

A rush of breath leaves Wyatt. “Okay. So you were in love with me but never said anything. Probably because of some bullshit fear of ruining our friendship, correct?”

Again, I nod.

“Then your cunt of a father finds out about us and sets me up in order to get me out of your life. You go to The Firm and barter for my freedom.”

Another nod.

“Then you discovered that your fatherwasThe Firm. He threatens my life in order for your compliance. He also forbids you from having any contact with me.”

My throat constricts. I never got that far in explaining. “How do you?—?”

“Nope,” Wyatt glares at me until I shut my mouth. “Don’t worry about how I know. Just confirm that I’m correct.”

What else can I do? I nod.

“Because you loved me, you went along with it.” Wyatt’s hand is shaking against my jaw now. “You did whatever unspeakable thing he commanded of you, just to keep me safe.”

I hesitate. I don’t want to confirm this. I don’t want Wyatt to feel like any of what’s happened to me over the past few years has been on him.

Wyatt’s gaze is steady. “No lies, remember?”

“Yes,” I croak. “All of it was to keep you safe.”

He curses under his breath and leans his forehead against mine. “When all of this is sorted out, we’re going to sit down and have a long talk about your sense of self-preservation.”

Wait, why is he talking as if we have a future?

Our breath mingles and I’m taken back to the last time we were here, when he taunted me by almost kissing me.

I thought that’d been painful. It has nothing on this. On knowing the exact shape of his lips. The flavor of his mouth. The possessive way his hand curls in my hair.

Back then, I knew none of that.

Now I do. And I can’t have it.

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