Page 131 of Covenant

We’re silent for a long time, sadness and anger creeping over me like a veil.

“So, that’s it.” The familiar numbness is creeping in as well, shutting off all of those unwelcome feelings. I embrace it like an old friend. Anything has to be better than the soul-crushing pain currently coursing through me. “I guess we’re done. This marriage is over.”

Matthias laughs bitterly. “You forget. The marriage was never real to begin with.”

That’s a shot to my heart, a pierce to my gut. I don’t understand why Matthias is trivializing what we had. Why he’s so ready to give up on us.

And suddenly, I’m too exhausted to care.

“Yeah. You’re right. It wasn’t real to begin with,” I say. “But it became real, for me at least. Guess I was right. I am the fool. A fool to have ever loved you.”

I turn to leave, my eyes watering, everything around me going silent.

And he doesn’t try to stop me.

29

MATTHIAS

AGE EIGHTEEN

I don’t sleep a wink that night.

Tempting as it is to camp outside the police station, the last thing I want is Father turning up there. If The Firm is going to help Wyatt, I don’t want him doing anything to stop it.

Father might think his power is absolute, but it’s not. Everyone knows The Firm holds the true power in St. Dismas.

Assuming they are real. They have to be. I can’t let go of this hope that we can get our plans back. Our dreams. The future we’ve talked about for so long.

It can’t be gone. It can’t.

I refuse.

I return home and pace my bedroom. I have no idea how I’ll know if Wyatt has been released. Father still has my phone, and I know better than to ask for it back. He would have destroyed it already.

That thought has tears threatening again. It’ll all be gone. The record of our phone calls. Countless messages. The photos we took together. The videos.

All of it is gone. Like it never existed in the first place.

Grim satisfaction is all that stops me from breaking completely. Father doesn’t know that I’ve gone to The Firm, that I’ve outmaneuvered him for once.

They’ll save Wyatt, and then we can be free of this place. Free of our shitty parents and any expectations they have of us.

Fuck them. They don’t get to decide our future for us.

But The Firm might. You don’t know what they’ll ask for in exchange.

I rub at my stomach nervously, feeling it churn. Hopefully it won’t be anything that takes me away from Wyatt. I can cope with anything else but that.

Wy’s not going to be happy when he finds out what I’ve done. I’m tempted to just not tell him, but that makes me feel even more nauseous.

I don’t want to lie to Wyatt. He’s the only person I’ve truly been myself around. The thought of hiding anything from him is abhorrent.

The sun is peeking over the horizon when a knock comes at my door. “Matthias. My office. Now.”

I’m hit with a sickening sense of déjà vu. Was it really only last night that he summoned me and turned my world upside down?

I wait until his footsteps fade away before going to the door. I don’t want to be in his company for a second longer than necessary. As soon as I’m done with him, I’m going back to the trailer park. I don’t know how long it takes The Firm to work, but I can’t wait a second longer.

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