He nods. “Of course I did. I would’ve done literally anything to fix what my father had ruined.”
“Fuck.” I sit forward, resting my head in my hands. My mind is reeling as history rewrites itself in my mind. Matthias didn’t set me up, his father did.
I don’t question it. It makes perfect sense. Matthias wouldn’t betray me like that.
I should’ve known. I should’ve fuckingknown.
“Why the fuck did you go to The Firm though? I’m not worth that. You had no idea what they’d ask of you, damnit.”
Rough fingers catch my chin, forcing me to look at him. The fire in his gaze has me flinching. “What do you mean, not worth it? Don’t you get it, you’re wortheverythingto me. I didn’t give a shit what the price was, so long as you were safe.”
I shake my head, my vision growing blurry. “No. You shouldn’t have done that.”
He lets go of my face with a snarl. “You know what? Fuck you.”
It’s such an abrupt shift in tone that it catches me off guard. “What?”
But he’s walking away from me, striding into the house. I stand up, stumbling after him, refusing to let him go. We’re getting this all out in the open now. Once and for all. He can’t just run away. Not now. Not again.
I follow him into his office, closing the door behind us so we won’t be disturbed. Matthias has his back to me, his shoulders tense as he pours himself a shot of whiskey.
He downs it in one gulp and returns the glass. “You have some fucking nerve.”
He’s still pissed at me, but for once, I don’t know what for. “Why, exactly?”
“Because you’re criticizing me for the very thing you did.” He wheels around, nostrils flaring. “So, it’s okay for you to go to The Firm for someone you love, but it’s not okay when I do the same?”
“You loved me?” I take a step forward but falter with the glare he gives me. “Even back then?”
Matthias nods curtly. The fire in the hearth throws stark shadows over the lines of his face. A face I know as well as my own, one I’ve traced so often with my fingertips. “Of course I did. I think I’ve loved you since before I even knew what love was.”
I press the heel of my hand to my chest as I try and take it all in, my breathing growing ragged, my mind spinning.
Matthias has always loved me. He didn’t set me up. He didn’t betray me.
But something still isn’t adding up, and it’s that missing part of the equation that has the emotion I’m most familiar with rising up. The one I channel when I grab both his hands, needing something to hold on to. Anything to save me from falling into this abyss of uncertainty. “All this time. Why the fuck didn’t you tell me? Why did you switch schools and fucking ghost me for all those years? Was it because you were afraid of what else your father might do?”
“No,” Matthias says fiercely. “That wouldn’t have kept me away from you. I was selfish enough, even back then, to prefer we face whatever he threw at us together. I would’ve cut him off entirely if it meant keeping you in my life.”
“Then why?”
“Every request has a price,” Matthias says softly, his gaze cutting away. He inhales deeply and then speaks, “Mine was to never speak to you again.”
That doesn’t make any sense. Why would The Firm want to keep us apart? “But?—”
Matthias’s phone starts to ring, the tone I now associate with Wylder. He ignores it. “Listen, there’s more that?—”
His phone stops ringing and then mine starts. I pull it out of my pocket and sigh at the unknown number flashing up on my screen. “I’m guessing Wylder somehow has my number?”
A vein is throbbing in Matthias’s forehead. “Absolute fucker. I’m so sorry. Shit. I didn’t give it to him.”
“It’s okay,” I try to smile at him, but everything is too fresh. Too confusing. It comes out sadder than it should be, a sneer and a pout. “Take the call. He won’t stop until you do.”
He nods as my phone stops ringing and his starts again. “I’m not leaving. I don’t care if the whole fucking world is burning down, I’m not going anywhere until this is sorted. Okay?”
The smile comes easily this time. “Okay. Yeah.”
He leaves the room, his tone curt as he answers. His voice drifts off down the hall. It’s only as the silence falls that I hear the drumming in my head. It’s a relentless beat at my temples. Unsurprising, given the fuck-ton of information that’s been dumped on me this evening. It’s too much, too overwhelming. I can barely breathe past the headache building.