Page 122 of Covenant

AGE EIGHTEEN

This summer is the start of my future. A future with Wyatt at my side. Not quite in the way I’d like him to be. Katie may be a figure of the past, but she was quickly replaced by Megan. Then Chloe. Then another girl whose name I can’t remember.

But I can live with that. Wy may never look at me how I look at him, but I don’t care.

All I care about is keeping him at my side. Living together, waking up and seeing him in the kitchen we’ll share. All of it. I’m looking forward to all of it.

With high school over, we’re both headed to Yale. Father was pissed when he discovered I hadn’t even applied to his alma mater, but by the time he found out about it, it was too late for him to interfere.

The verbal beating he gave me had been worth it, I endured it with straight shoulders and a blank face. He doesn’t use his fists these days. Not now that I’ve gotten big enough to hit him back.

It hasn’t happened yet, but I suspect it’s only a matter of time.

I think he believes that too.

He has no idea why I changed my college plans. Wyatt is my secret, one I’ve closely guarded.

And that’s the way it’s going to stay. Father has managed to taint everything in my life. But not this. I won’t let him ruin what I have with Wy. He’s my best friend. My rock. The reason I get up in the morning and remind myself to breathe.

Now, I’ll get to see him all the time. No longer will I be crossing off the days on a calendar, wishing for summer break. No more late-into-the-night phone calls.

We won’t need them. We’ll be together.

Deep down, I suspect this isn’t going to be as wonderful as I think it is. Not in terms of protecting my heart. But I gave up trying to fight my feelings for Wy a long time ago.

There’s no point. I can no more stop breathing than I can stop being in love with him.

I just got back from spending the day with him and I don’t want to shower, selfishly wanting to keep the casual touches he gave me on my skin just a little longer. But given we’d been swimming in the lake, it’s kind of a necessity. The last thing I want is to set Father off. I spend my days trying to slip past his notice.

It’s the only way to survive.

The only times I purposefully attract his notice is when his anger falls on Dalton or Harley. I keep them safe as much as I can, trying to shield them from his temper.

I’m not always successful, but I try. Better me than them. They’re young, they don’t need his shit in their lives. I’m used to it. I can take it.

Stepping out of the shower into my massive bedroom, I look around the space through someone else’s eyes. It’s honestly ridiculous. I haven’t seen Wy’s trailer up close, but I’m sure you could fit it in here. Every time I think about it, I feel embarrassed. I have so much, and Wy has so little.

I fucking hate it. I’d give him everything in my bank account if I thought he’d take it.

At least at college, I’ll be able to help him out more without him realizing. We’re going to rent somewhere together…at least, that’s what Wy thinks. In reality, I’m using my trust fund that I’ve just come into to buy a place. Then I’ll charge Wy a nominal amount for rent, hoping he’ll never question it.

I’ll keep the fridge and cupboards stocked so he never has to miss a meal again. When I haven’t been with Wy this summer, I’ve been in the kitchen with our chef. She’s been teaching me how to cook for two. That way, I can claim I’ve always made too much and then guilt Wy into eating half so it doesn’t go to waste.

All of this is probably crossing a line, but I don’t give a fuck. Not if it keeps a roof over Wy’s head and food in his belly. I’m sick of seeing him at the start of summer and immediately noticing how much weight he’s lost. I make sure he packs it back on in the months I spend with him, turning up with food every day and giving him puppy eyes until he eats it.

He always does. I don’t think he can say no to me any more than I can to him.

He’s working now at the local burger joint, but his money goes to buying food and essentials for Jackson. Despite his initial misgivings about having a sibling, Wyatt has taken to caring for Jackson like he’s his own.

Sometimes I want to scream at him that it’s not his responsibility. That he should put himself first for once.

But he won’t. That’s not the kind of man he’s growing into. He’s selfless, beautiful, perfect inside and out.

That’s what’s made me vow to always put him first. If he won’t look after himself, then I’ll do it for him.

I can’t think of a greater purpose for my life.

I whistle as I roughly towel my hair, feeling slightly elated. This summer is the start of everything.

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