Page 73 of Covenant

His words move through me as I follow him onto the sand. He’s attractive out here in the light of day. More so than he normally is. Fuck, when did I start feeling attraction toward him like this? I don’t know. Maybe it was always like this.

Maybe it was alwaysjusthim.

Honestly, him being a man doesn’t bother me as much as the fact that it’s Matthias. It’s like my dick has forgotten how crushed I’d been that night all those years ago. The terror of sitting in that jail cell. Of using my one phone call to call him.

And him not picking up.

He has his reasons,my brain pipes up.There’s a reason he left you there to rot.

So he says. It might make a difference if I could imagine any fucking scenario that made what happened okay.

But I can’t. Bringing it up now…it’ll fracture this fragile peace we’ve built. Right now, I’m getting time with him. Someone who once meant everything to me. I missed this, what we had before that night. I know I’ll have to face up to the past eventually. I can’t outrun it forever. Doing that means stepping back from Matthias. There’s not a single bone in my body that’s ready to do that. Not when I feel alive for the very first time in years.

“Tell me what you’re planting in the yard.”

His question comes out of nowhere. “What?”

“The yard,” he elongates the words. “Full of dirt, worms, and God knows what else. You know, where you’ve been spending all your time?”

Instead of getting my hackles up, it draws a soft chuckle from me and I give him a playful shove. He stumbles forward and huffs in annoyance.

“I know what you mean, dick. I was just surprised you were asking.”

“Why?”

I shrug a shoulder. “Not like you’ve been interested in speaking to me much recently.”

“Like I said, I assumed you’d be happier without my company.” I open my mouth to yell at him again, but he stops me with a wry grin. “I know, ask instead of assume. I’ve learned my lesson.”

“Have you really?”

“I hope so.”

I meet his dark stare and then shrug. “So, you really wanna know what I’m doing in my garden?”

I stumble on that word.My. It’s not really mine. In a year, it will be given back to Corbin, but still, I don’t correct myself.

“Yes. Tell me.”

As we walk along the beach, I push his honesty to the limit, talking in detail about everything I’ve been doing. Each type of seed I’ve planted. The bark I asked Corbin to get me to spread along some of the borders. The benefits of clay soil versus acidic. I talk and talk, waiting for him to interrupt, to show some sign of boredom.

But there’s none. He just smiles placidly, nodding in all the right places.

Just like old times.

Eventually, I run out of things to say and come to an abrupt halt. My hands go to my hips as I glare at him. “Really?”

Matthias stops, tilting his head in confusion. “Really what?”

“You just listened to me blather on about gardening, a subject I’m certain you have zero interest in, for thirty solid minutes.”

His lips quirk. “What’s your point?”

“Why didn’t you stop me?”

“You were enjoying talking, and I was enjoying listening.”

I give him a flat stare. “About gardening.”

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