Page 104 of Covenant

Samson just rolled his eyes and suggested we set alarms if we intended to fuck around before Matthias had work. I’d sat there trying to process all of it, my naked body covered by the sheet.

I’m still not sure why Matthias feels the need to sleep with a weapon under his pillow. Or why the property has guards, or why there are cameras covering every inch of the house. When I originally moved in with him, I just wrote it off to his extreme wealth. Everyone knows the Buckinghams own the city. Their power is exceeded only by that of The Firm.

Matthias sleeping with a dagger, though? That doesn’t make sense to me. I know I should bring it up. I’d almost forgotten about it because while we were on our honeymoon he didn’t have one. But one night after arriving home, my hand slipped under his pillow and I felt the sting of the blade graze my finger.

Like I said, I should bring it up, but I haven’t.

I’ve added it to the long list of things we should probably talk about. Things that haunt me during the hours I’m apart from Matthias, my fingers deep in the dirt, the rain hitting my skin.

Why did he set me up that night?

How did he even get wrapped up with that dealer in the first place?

If he had feelings for me back then, why didn’t he tell me?

Why did he ghost me?

Why didn’t he send me away when he realized I was the one The Firm had decided he’d marry?

Why is this inheritance so important if he’s already richer than Croesus?

What’s happening between us?

Are we really going to walk away from each other when our contract is up?

The issue with asking any of these questions is it’ll upset the careful balance we’ve established. It’s been a tentative truce, set up on a foundation of everything we aren’t saying.

One wrong question, one truth, and the whole thing could come tumbling down.

Selfishly, I’m not ready for that to happen yet. I’m happier now than I’ve been in years. And it’s not just because of the sex. Obviously, that’s a huge plus, but that’s not all of it.

It’s spending time with Matt, my long-lost friend. Teasing him to make him smile. Talking about trivial matters interspersed with the universe’s grand questions. Everything big and small, there’s nothing we don’t talk about.

Nothing except everything weshouldtalk about.

I’m happy living in denial though. Future me can deal with everything. Right now, I’m being selfish. For the first time in a long time, I’m putting myself first.

Matthias appears to be doing the same…for the most part. There are moments when I catch him watching me intensely, often when the moonlight bathes our sweat-slicked skin. I can almost hear the words on his lips, the hesitant breath before he decides to set us on the road to truth that could end us.

I silence him with a kiss every time. I steal that moment from him.

Selfishly, I consume it.

I’m not ready.

Taking Samson’s advice, we wake every morning now with plenty of time for orgasms before Matthias has to leave for the office. Sometimes we don’t even do that, too busy exchanging quiet whispers and cuddles. Matthias really has the best chest to snuggle on.

We shower together before finally making it down to breakfast. I no longer pretend strawberries aren’t my favorite. In fact, I barely notice what Jules puts in front of me these days.

I’m too busy devouring Matthias with my eyes. The way his fingers curl around the spoon, the way his tongue licks across the fork.

The way I study him.

While he’s in the office, I spend my time in the gardens. Thanks to Corbin’s guidance, it’s flourishing. Jules is thrilled with the fresh vegetables I’ve been providing him with.

In the evenings, I lounge in our bed, waiting for Matthias to return. It’s when I catch up on my sleep.

But first, I always make sure to call my brother.

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