Page 47 of Love Letters to Christmas

I just don’t know how I’ll ever recover.

Probably, it’s safe to say that I won’t.

Chapter Seventeen

Tomorrow’s Independence Day! But I’m not allowed to be independent without a taser?

Amelia

Letter from Brian. Wax seal from Brian.Bluewax seal from Brian. In my PO box.

To think I was disappointed to learn that I’d need to make special trips to check my box or risk getting my letters a day late since the mail here delivers around four, well beyond my lunch break even though I work just up the street.

Fingers shaking, I lock my post box and turn out of the clinical aisles, heading for the exit.

I’m practically hyperventilating by the time I make it to my car in the parking lot. Sitting inside, I throw the AC back on and stare at the letter in my lap. It’sbeautiful, but my heart actually may not be able to handle this. Brian wouldn’t reply to my love letter with ablueseal unless he’s encouraging having a secret admirer.

And he isn’tjustencouraging it. His reply camefast. It’s been a single day since I saw that the letter I sent in a fit of insanity made its way into Brian’s hands. He must have written a reply in his office immediately, sealed the envelope with a stunning floral stamp, and taken it personally to the post office. So now, on July 3rd, I have received a gift.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to feel. Brian replied. With a glittery white envelope and blue wax. Brian is interested in his secret admirer. Which means he’s notinterested in me. Which makes enough sense.

But also his secret admirerrambled. She used the moth-to-flame cliche! She’s basically illiterate. Yet he still bestows her with a response?

I hate her.

I hate me.

I am my own love triangle.

What was I thinking?

Lip pouted, I dissect my letter, leaving the seal whole and the envelope untorn. Breathing deep, I unfold the beautiful paper and begin to read.

My dearest Admirer,

It’s an honor to make your acquaintance. I don’t consider sharing your feelings to be foolish in any way. It’s remarkably courageous. To take a chance on something as vulnerable as confessing emotions that may not be returned is brave.

You are brave.

I cannot imagine what character growth you’re focusing on right now, but your self-awareness and honesty has struck me. I find myself invested in your journey and smitten by your fixation.

Certainly, any man would be flattered by such sincere compliments. Any man would wish for such compelling adulation. But, you must know if we’ve crossed paths a number of times before, that I am not any man.

Mail is of utmost importance to me. My first love. To get to me, you must find yourself a bit more obsessed with it, I think.

Please learn the code of seals and reply accordingly.

That is to say, I do hope you reply and update me on your personal growth. I also hope you’ll tell me what your favorite flavor of muffin is. And your favorite color. And also, perhaps, your favorite restaurant.

I’m a bit of a planner, you’ll learn, and should you live up to my expectations, I hope I’ll be prepared to spoil you as you deserve.

Eager and hopeful,

Your Brian

MyBrian?

I have a letter from Brian in Brian’s handwriting, whereby he calls himselfmine. Not only that, he wants me to reply. He wants to know more about me. He wants me to send him wax-sealed letters.

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