Page 78 of Red Flag, Green Light

Rouge: Wouldn’t that be fresh and fun and new?

Sara: What if it’s the middle of the night, and he kisses her awake, before kidnapping her?

…

Rouge: Girl.

Rouge: Would you like that?

Sara: Yes.

Sara: 100%

Bet.

I find myself sighing again, but this time I’m smiling through it. That is, until she messages again.

Sara: Are we going to talk about how this book has been so difficult for you to write?

Ha. As if.

Sara: And how it’s not quite what you normally write, by roughly a landslide?

Ha ha. Wild, that. To think, my drafting style doesn’t match my brother’s. I am well out of my depth. This is significantlyabove my paygrade.

Rouge: What do I normally write?

Sara: Confident male leads who charge in with alpha complexes, convinced their opinions are correct and their ladies should fall into line, before finding their woman’s petulance and refusal to abide endearing to the point of adoration.

Sara: You know, genre standard.

This woman has got to stop coming for my self-esteem.

Rouge: My MMC is not like other boys. That’s averycommon trope.

Sara: In YA. With girls.

Rouge: Breaking gender roles is very popular these days.

Sara: And, yet, people prove with their money that, actually, they do not much care for what the media implies is popular these days. Show me anot like other boys dark romancein the top one hundred of the Amazon store, and I’ll stop commenting on how your slow burn is killing me.

Rouge: Slow burn. People love slow burn.

Sara: Their eyes have yet to meet for a prolonged period. It has been ten thousand words. This burn is slower than the enemies-to-lovers historical romances written a century ago.

Excuse me for trying to maintain my sanity and also respect the woman I’m writing a book about. Lifting my hands to the keyboard, I type out:I’m Mars.

Then I delete that message, because insecurity tells me about thirteen things that could go wrong. Cereslikesme. That doesn’t mean she is irrationally in love with me and willing to accept news like this without batting an eye. That doesn’t mean she won’t consider that I’ve kept a huge secret from her when one of the most important things in the world to her is security and honesty. That doesn’t mean I know how to explain myself, orhow deeply the opposite ofconfident male lead with an alpha complexI am.

All I want is to be loved.

That’s it.

I am desperate for someone to loveme.

In spite of my many flaws. In spite of my…me-ness.

I want to be right.

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