“Your grip tightened.”
“Oh.”
A breeze rustles the grass around us as she squeezes back, silent support. Rudely, that chokes me up, and it becomes hard to breathe.
“I love you,” I say, as though my voice isn’t breaking.
“You’re not sounding okay, Mars. In case I haven’t been clear enough yet, the one thing I can’t stand is liars.”
“I’mokay. I’m just not that great. You know?”
A bird streaks above us, from one tree branch to another. Ceres asks, “Wanna talk about it?”
“Someday. Maybe.”
“I’ll listen.”
I draw her hand to my lips and kiss. “I know. You listen. A lot. Every time Amelia’s called, you listen. She has heard my voice here a few times, yet she hasn’t asked you how you are or what’s going on more than once. She just talks, and you listen. I think it’s someone else’s turn to do the listening where you’re concerned.”
“Amelia’s going through a lot right now.”
“I know.” I roll my eyes. “I’ve heard. But everyone is always going through something.”
“Not me. I sit in my house and I work on stuff most people prefer I not talk about. Nothing happens. She used to ask how I was. And when the answers were always the same, she stopped. I’m really…rather boring, Mars.”
“I don’t think you’re boring.”
“That’s because you are so exciting it bleeds into me. I barely emote most days. Let’s not delude ourselves because you’re infatuated. I’m not certain I even have a personality of my own. I just reflect what other people give me. Which is exhausting. Andwhy I don’t go outside.”
“We’re outside right now.”
She turns a frown toward me. “You know what I mean.”
I grin. “My love, that scowl isn’t veryreflectiveof me, now is it?”
“Trust me, I’m bursting with chaotic elation on the inside. And it’s all your fault.”
“Yay.”
A reluctant smile replaces her frown, and she moves so she can rest her head against my shoulder while I hold her hand to my heart. It’s hammering. Probably with that chaotic elation she mentioned.
If I’d known my beautiful Ceres was my completely insane Sara sooner… If I’d known she wouldn’t mindme…
“Little goddess?”
Drowsy, she makes a soft sound.
“How do you feel about coercion?”
“Love it.”
Heh. That’s what I thought. To think, at every point, I’ve been anxious over nothing.
“Do you think Brian’s a fan of blackmail?” she asks.
I glance at the top of her head, at a ladybug in her hair. “Why are you thinking about Brian?”
“All girls think about Brian. He’s the ideal male specimen, or so I’m told.”