Page 35 of Red Flag, Green Light

I’mSafari-ingthis.

My results load, and I say, “June 14th.”

Dryly, Mars stares into me, letting long moments pass before he pinches the bridge of his nose. “June14th. Romantic holidays occur on the fourteenth.”

“Valentine’s Day is the fourteenth because that’s the date some pope established as the day to honor Saint Valentine’s death. Valentine’s Day is so genuinely a memorial day, and you’ll have to excuse me if I find nothing particularly romantic about neither death…nor the other harrowing origins that resulted in the papacy’s desire to assimilate the time of year into Christendom, like it did, with basically all other popular holidays.”

Mars is staring into me again, and his eye twitches. Taking a deep breath, he clears his throat. “I don’t know why you know that andnotwhat date Flag Day is.”

Because Rouge released a Valentine book this year, which made me go, firstly,since when does dark romance haveValentinebooks?and, secondly,what even is this holiday about?If Rouge releases aFlag Daybook, then call me Sheldon Cooper, I’ll celebrate it anti-religiously.

But that won’t happen.

Because I pride Rouge in having a modicum of sense…usually. When she isn’t sending me scripts about shoulder-less shorties.

Mars continues, “Let’s just appreciate thatFlag Dayisn’ta papacy-assimilated holiday, which—surely—makes it more romantic.”

I’m not getting compensated enough for this.

“Moving on.” Mars presents his chaos once more as though it’s a fully-realized Powerpoint slide. “You will be responsible for the human element of this event. Coordinating the decorations, the food, the everything that involves talking to another human being.”

Ew.

“I’ll be working on advertising and planning.”

“I fear we possess the same strengths, Mars. If I had any idea what was going on, I could have this event planned and marketed in an afternoon.”

“Marketing a real-world event isn’t a single-touch project, Ceres. Getting someone to know you existandconvincing them to go through the grand many steps that brings their physical person to your event’s actual location takes more than an afternoon. Even digital products take roughly seven points of visibility before consideration for purchase commences. Suffice to say: leave the marketing to me if you’re going to talk about it like that.”

Fair enough. Given that no number of “touches” would convince me to ever, ever, ever leave my house and attend afestival, I suppose I’m the furthest thing from the target audience here and should not be on the marketing crew. That does not by any means suggest I want to be human relations, though.

Lifting my hand, I wait to be called on.

“Yes, Ceres?” Mars’s chilling smile is slowly becoming something familiar.

“I’m deeply underqualified for all positions associated with this project and would like my participation to be struck from the record.”

He laughs. “Request denied.”

I stand. “In that case, I am going back to bed.”

“So you’re no longer interested in never having to pick up your own groceries again?”

I sit down. And cross my arms. But that’s hardly important to note.

Mars’s smile softens, and he abandons his corkboard display in favor of sitting himself beside me.

I turn my pout squarely in the other direction.

“People aren’t that scary, are they?” he asks.

My chest tightens. “They’re inconvenient. And unpredictable. And why in the world do we need four months to plan this, Mars?”

“Would you prefer it if I gave you ten days?”

“Only ten days of suffering, instead offour months, would be ideal, yes.”

“Placing orders and booking entertainment early leads to fewer issues later. Having enough time to correct any number of problems that might arise is fairly common sense. The sooner you start planning for something, the better your chances of success are.”

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